Sunday, March 1, 2009

Where do i begin?!?

Let me start with my trip back to NY. More importantly the guy sitting in 24G. I didn't see him at first as I feel asleep before takeoff. But a couple hours later I was awake again and saw him. The first thing I noticed were those piercing blue eyes. They were incredible. I wasn't sure if he was gay, but he looked cute. German, dirty blond hair. Then I noticed the earring in his left ear. Wasn't sure if that meant he was gay, but he was reading a copy of Vanity Fair. And when he got up to get something out of his carryon and he stretched his shirt rode up and i could see the top of his CKs. The white ones with the red waistband, just like a pair i had :). I didn't take my eyes off him the entire flight. Nor at immigration, or baggage claim. Of course i didn't manage to attract his attention. I need to learn how to do that without actually going up to him and saying hi. Too bad I was sitting 2 rows back, on the outbound flight I had been sitting in his row.

Ok now onto someone else. I have a friend. Well a fb friend anyway. We've been chatting for a while, he knows who I really am. I think he is who i think he is. Meaning he has a few pics up on fb, but no facepic. He says that's really him, and i trust him. Recently he told me he didn't like the new me. My facebook statuses were often about sex, hooking up with guys, being horny and the like. I told him i'd tone it down, cos i didn't want to lose him as a friend. Of course then i got chatting with someone else. And i brought up the topic. He basically told me, why should you change who you are because someone else doesn't like it? The truth is they were both sort of right. Being all brash and crass wasn't who i really was, yet sometimes I liked it. Just being able to let it all out. So i contacted the first guy and told him. Thats who i am sometimes. If you don't like it, you don't have to remain my friend. That was probably a bit rude but hey, it is what it is.

And onto the guy i believe i refer to as Mr Z. What can I say about him... We had been in contact while i was overseas, i was dying to meet him again. We made plans to meet up again when I got back so i was really excited. I did send him a message though, being that i'm new to all this, asking what exactly is protocol. Do i just rock up to his place, or do we meet at a bar for a drink or what. His reply was either, whatever I wanted, or we could go on a proper date. Movie? Museum? That threw me a bit. This probably deserves it's own post, but what does that mean? Did he just ask me out on a date? He replied something to the extent of 'he'd like to be able to chat with me when i'm sober too'. My mind went into overdrive a bit. Was he interested in hanging out? Was he interested in a relationship? Was I interested in a relationship? At least right now? Damn these things get complicated. Plus there was an age difference (not that i care to be honest) and of course there was something i had been told by a reader of this blog in one of our chats. "Can you really see yourself settling down with a non jewish guy? How comfortable will you be with a christmas tree in your house?" The fact is if I were straight, I wouldn't consider marrying out of the faith, but i'm not. Settling down with a guy is already considered doing something wrong. So why should i give a fuck if the guy isn't jewish. I don't think i care that much. If i like the guy so be it.

I think i'm getting way ahead of myself here, it's just sex for now. And maybe hanging out a bit. But lets see where it goes. And i hope he doesn't read this blog post and flee for the hills.



E Winkler said...

no worries about christmas tress, but on a practical level- where will you date? what will you guys do? b/c i think u still keep kosher, and that makes things complicated for dating even non-religious jews, let alone the non-jews. it's definitely something to be wary of, also if you think you wan a relationship at this point... good luck with the decisions. i'm always here!

David said...

Well, I didn't intend for you to be rude to the other fb friend. I would have suggested you tell him that this was a just side of you that you were exploring and hope that he can deal with it.

As for Mr. Z, just go with the flow. Just because he has suggested a date doesn't mean you have to go on one. But if you do, it doesn't mean you want or are ready for a relationship either. It just means you are going on a date with him. Keep is simple.

DM said...

OMG! I have a similar story! Only I saw my hottie while waiting to board the plane. He kept catching me looking over at him. At one point I went to the bathroom in the airport before our flight took off, and oddly enough he was in there a minute later. Maybe my going to the washroom made him realize he had to go, maybe he was trying to make something happen, or maybe he just had to go to the washroom and it was a coincidence that he went soon after I did. I personally think if there was a guy that kept looking at me, and then I noticed he went to the bathroom, that I would not go myself (if I was straight or uninterested) until he came back out. Either way, I was chicken and didn't say anything. I secretly hoped we'd be sitting next to each other on the plane. He ended up being three or four rows ahead of me and we never talked. He ended up getting off the plane quickly so I never had a chance to talk to him. I also love blue eyes ;)

Bobby said...

Who cares about the christmas tree? lol I just started a relationship and they guy's from new castle! Ok I know it's not the same thing, but you know what I mean. These are just labels and you should go with what your feelings are telling you. Listen to them!!!
Blue eyes kick ass!!! blue gray ones too... ;)

tkob said...

Being rude is never an option. I too have noticed that you have become very comfortable talking very openly and brashly about your new journey to sexual discovery.
He had every right to express his concern. There is nothing wrong with toning it down a bit. I totally understand that your anonymity makes it VERY easy to express your innermost feelings, but that isn't a license to go overboard.

I have been in a relationship with a non-jew for almost 5 years now. Both he and his family go out of their way to accommodate me, even planning family events, birthdays, holiday celebrations, outings etc. to not be on Shabbos and to include kosher food for me. He has no problem going to Kosher eateries, or with my keeping Shabbos or anything that I do. That's the meaning of finding "The One" meaning one who will respect you for who YOU are and not what he wants you to be.
The hardest is dating a Jew who doesn't hold at the same level of Yiddishkeit that you do. That's where conflict come in.
So don't worry about being who you are. You don't have to give up anything that you believe in for another person, male or female for that matter.
My message is that you don't have to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Be who you were always meant to be and you will find the right one, your Bashert.

Jay said...

Where will we date? I don't think we'll have issues with that, as for kosher issues, read my next post.

Don't worry D, it was ok. As for Mr Z, we're flowing, so all is good :)

tkob, yeah my anonimity allows me to be brash in this way, but the fact is i like pushing the boundaries, even if i'm not really like this. as for being who i want to be, i'm still trying to figure that one out.


Anonymous said...

G'Morning Sunshine,

i'm surprised i ain't the only one discovering the 'new' Jay.I I like the 'current' Jay way more than the one I thought I knew from 2 yrs ago. Back then ...being jewish & the kosher topick never came up. You were just one of the many FB fellas. You r my only one of two orthodox jewish friend in this universe(and that makes you special) especially me being non-jewish Im always astonished with how many things you guys hav2 put up with, and i respect that.

re:easing the relationship with mr Z: get him a crash-course for dummies on anything Jewish topics...I know I need one aint that vital when hanging out with non-orthodox guys, but trust me there are a situations when we: the non-jewish guys are completely lost and dont know which way 2go and the line to unintentionally hurt an orthodox pal is almost invisible to cross, and thats only because a lack of knowllege :)

and again: your bravery of puting up with all the opinions is admirable i believe thats way harder than having an affair with beau of different religion :)

Jay said...

Anonymous, I wish I knew who you were :(