First and foremost it would be to have a repeat of tonight. I was horny, and I'm in israel, so I thought maybe i'd hookup with someone here. I had no idea how i'd do it. I searched for gay venues in tel aviv and jerusalem. I found a few places, but wasn't sure about it. I looked on facebook, man i've got some hot israeli friends! lol. And of course i mentioned it on my status. Someone comments to check out an israeli website. I registered, even paid for the month to get a full membership so it doesn't die on me like manhunt after a few profile views. Things started off slowly, i didn't think anything was gonna happen tonight.
I found a few guys i liked the look of. One i sent my facepic to and he wasn't interested. Yeah i know i can't expect everyone to be into me, but that hurt. Didn't think anything would happen and sort of made other plans for the night. Then i started getting messages from people. Quite a few people. One wanted me to send him my pic first. Since i'm not out i chose not to and asked him to send one first. He balked and that was that. There were two others, one sent me a pic, he looked alright, and was older than i was looking for. There was another guy who wanted a pic and I preferred to see if this went anywhere. Unfortunately he logged off before i sent my message. So it was just the other guy who had a chance. It was getting late enough that i'd miss the last train into Tel Aviv so i decided to go for it. I got his address, directions, and off i went.
I got to his place and called his cell. He came down to meet me. We went up to his apartment. Everything started off slowly. Things were ok, we were kissing on his bed and getting naked, and then somewhere in the middle suddenly i started to feel weird and completely not into it. I don't know what it was, i never saw a body pic so I don't know what I was expecting. I just didn't find him the least bit interesting. I didn't want to be there, and was regretting signing up for the website in the first place. Of course everyone will say i should've just gone, but i didn't. I stayed. I actually came pretty quickly thanks to a finger playing with my ass, and that should've been my way out. Leave damnit! But i stayed. It's not as if someone has never backed out of sex before, right?
I stayed until the time i had to leave to make the last train back. I got dressed and he walked me out. He told me he had my email address and to keep in touch. As i walked to the train I felt dirty. I smelled him on me and I was disgusted by it. I smelled my hands, i smelled my clothes and all i wanted was a shower to get rid of it all. I felt nauseous.
I don't know why I felt this way. And it must sound so retarded to you guys. It's not like I was a rape victim or anything, but I came home and had a long hot shower. I don't think i've had such a good clean in a long while. I just had to get that smell off. And then i blocked his profile from contacting me.
Now what do I do? Do i forget this ever happened and stay away from internet hookups? Do i just get more picky when it comes to hooking up? Do i stick to bars for meeting people where I can actually size the person up before choosing whether to go home with them? Do i go back on the site tomorrow, hoping for a good experience that may help me forget the bad? I just have no idea.
This is one post i'd definitely love to get people's thoughts on. Even if u haven't commented before, please do, and you can do so anonymously too :)
1 hour ago