Thursday, April 24, 2008

Gay cellphone?

Ok, now what straight guy has an LG Prada cellphone??? I rest my case :)

Friday, April 18, 2008

Happy passover

Happy passover to all my readers. I'll be back early next week!


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

cute college boy (ccb) part 3

Another day spent hanging around cute college boy (CCB). He just gets better and better! He was wearing a 'sailor' t-shirt, kind of like you'd expect to be worn in an ad for Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male. I also discovered he wears white CKs!

Well he didn't pull down his jeans for me so i could see if they were trunks or briefs, but it was a hot look! And i'm gonna see him again tomorrow :)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Cute college boy pt.2

So now i really think he's gay. We sat next to each other in a class. I was so nervous i couldn't even make eye contact for the first half hour. Eventually we got chatting about assessments, plans for next year. And he really sounds gay! Not effeminate, but i don't know any other way to describe it.

Oh well, so i may have confirmed it, not that it helps me much...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Help me out

I know i mentioned this before, but i'd love to read some of your comments. It makes me feel sane that i'm not talking to myself, lol. And you can do so anonymously so don't be shy!


Probably my alltime favorite song

I absolutely love this song. It's kind of our song (our being me and HGF). It's Apologize by One Republic & Timbaland. I could listen to it all day over and over. It sometimes gives me the chills just listening to it. It reminds me of the good times and the bad times, and it sometimes makes me want to cry. I love driving my car when this comes on the radio. I put up the volume to full blast. HGF, i miss you...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Being jewish, religious and gay. Can they coexist?

I've got lots of thoughts floating around in my head, so i thought i'd put some of them down on 'paper'. One question thats always bothered me was can i be a practising jew and a 'practising' homosexual.

According to traditional orthodox judaism, that answer is no. Sexual 'immorality' is one of the 3 cardinal sins in judaism, something one should give up his life for, rather than transgress (male to male anal sex falls within this category). The other two being idolatry and murder. This is based on some verse in the book of Leviticus.

There are different ways one can go about responding to this problem. There are those who just avoid anal sex. Oral sex and masturbation are considered lesser forms of sin. Others have the belief that the literal translation cannot be the correct interpretation of this verse because God made us gay, and there is no way he would not allow us to have a loving sexual relationship with other men, forcing us to be celibate, so this must mean something else.

I don't think i fall into either category. My whole life all i've been taught is that it's wrong (no thats not all i've been taught ;) ) and to say it must mean something else doesn't sit so well with me. It kind of sounds like taking the easy way out. On the other hand i'm not going to live my life without sex to please some higher being. And thats where i'm stuck.

Since my late teens i've started to become more and more apathetic or disinterested with religion. Everything is done more because i'm used to doing it by rote. Praying, eating kosher, but it just doesn't do anything for me anymore, and i find myself becoming completely disinterested, and less observant in my conduct. I sometimes contemplate about giving it all up. Obviously its not something to taken lightly, but i don't see much of a choice. Maybe being gay is my get out of jail free card. If they don't want me, then i don't want to be a part of them either....

Thursday, April 10, 2008

A gay passover

Passover is coming up, nothing really gay about it. But its a time to celebrate with family. Lots of people who live away from home will go back home for the holidays and spend it with their family. I currently live in the same city i was born and raised in, so i'm not going anywhere, even though i'd love to get away. Another thing this means is all the single girls who live in other cities will be coming home, which probably means more dates coming up (yay), lol. I know its not funny but its hard to get excited about something you know isn't going anywhere. I know its only a date, but i just consider them hours wasted.

I know i'm rambling and there's nothing gay about this post... yet. Ok, last night i took a couple of pics of me jacking off and sent them to HGF! I won't tell you what else i did, i'll keep you guessing.


Sunday, April 6, 2008

Life meet fantasy

I woke up and i was already late. Damn of all the days to be late, why today? I had stuff to do and had to be in union square at 11. I didn't think i was going to make it. I got dressed, then decided i didn't like the way i looked, so i changed. I wished it wasn't so cold, so i could wear the new jacket i bought. I messaged you saying i'd be a bit late, you had no problems with it, you were enjoying a book and the weather. I made my way to the subway, and all i could think about was what this was gonna be like. I knew it would change my life, but in how many ways? I was nervous, the next time i'm back in brooklyn i would've seen you already! i was so excited!

As i got off the subway at 14th St i got very nervous, it was only about 11.15 so i hadn't kept you waiting too long. I climbed the few steps to the park and looked around for you. There was this guy in the other corner of the park. He had earmuffs on and he was reading a book. Was that him? I thought it was. I didn't want to come towards you head on, so i decided to go around. I didn't know what i was going to do once i actually got to you, but i thought whatever happens, happens.

I made my way up to you. I was so excited i don't remember what happened next. We decided to go for a coffee, starbucks was just across the road. You ordered, i ordered. We sat down with our coffees and talked. We talked about life, and everything else. I just felt so comfortable, like i'd known you for years and you were my best friend. It was as if we were the only people there, and no-one around us.

We were thinking of what to do. You said i've got some good news and some bad news. I had no idea what was coming. The bad news is that Paul* came down with something and couldn't make it. The good news is that my hotel room is kind of lonely on my own. You smiled with a glint in your eye. You knew what i wanted, but i didn't want to rush into anything. Is it ok if we just hang out for a bit first? Sure!

We decided on the staten island ferry. I'd been on it before but i didn't really care what i was doing, as long as i got to spend some time with you. We had so much time to talk and enjoy the ride, it was something special. I was nervous, yet amazed how normal i felt. Once we got back to the city we thought it was the perfect time to have a late afternoon drink or 2. You had a magazine of places we could go to, i wasn't too comfortable heading to a gay place, so we found a couple of others. 1 was closed, the other who knows. We were walking up 9th avenue and not finding anything. So we hopped in a cab, and thought he may have some ideas. He asked if we wanted a straight place or a gay place. I froze, not knowing what you'd answer. Straight. Well he took us to the straightest bar in the city. Football was shown on huge screens, college guys and girls packed out the place. We had a beer but this certainly wasn't the place we were looking for, so we went for a walk. The next place we popped into had a more family restaurant feel to it, and i think my cocktail was virgin!

Anyway after there we jumped into another cab, and he took us to a street, and we walked in and saw some cozy couches. This was the place we wanted. We sat down and ordered. Drinks were flowing fast and heavy, i had trouble keeping my hands to my myself. At one point i touched you, wanting to feel your face, your skin, your stubbly beard. It was hot, having left there i knew what would be coming up, but i wanted to kiss you first. I needed to kiss you. And we did, right there on the street. It was electrifying. I wanted to touch you some more, but only got clearance to go up your shirt, it was good enough for me. Straight to your nipples, the ring in one of them felt so interesting, i enjoyed tweaking it.

We then stopped, and you led the way. We took the subway back to your hotel, i had to remind myself not to jump you on the train. You have no idea how hard i tried! We got to your hotel, and i was a good boy. I didn't try anything in the lobby, or the elevator or the hallway, but you knew i was getting restless. You fumbled with the key a few times and finally the door opened. I waited till we were in and the door closed before doing anything. Once in i took of my coat, threw it over a chair, and then turned around to look at you. I came close and began to kiss you like i'd never kissed anyone before (and i hadnt!). As i was kissing you i began undoing your shirt, one button at a time, slowly i saw more of your muscualr chest appear until your top was completely open and i managed to get it off your shoulders and on to the floor. It didn't feel right that i was still fully dressed. But i was nervous, i had been very reluctant to cam with you or send any nude pics of me. I was embarrassed in front of your body. You were muscular with the perfect body. I and i was this average guy, who looked like he needed to join a gym and fast. But you didn't mind. You made me comfortable. That was all i needed. Otherwise we wouldn't have ended up doing much.

We were both standing there, and we moved to the bed. You lay down, and i began to kiss you and touch your body all over. Your hot pecs, your nipples, your nipple ring. It was perfect. I tugged a bit on the ring with my tongue, u looked like u were in heaven. There was no way i was rushing through this as it was an experience of a lifetime. I took my time, touching and licking and kissing every inch of your body. Your smell was driving me wild, and i wondered how long i'd be able to hold out for. I made my way down along your treasure trail, but i was stopped by a pair of jeans and a belt. Oh well, these will have to come off too. which still kissing your body my hands worked fast, opening the belt, opening the buttons and pulling the jeans off. The only thing you had on was your underwear and they were sexy red trunks, the ones you'd shown me a pic of (but on a model, not on you), now i got to see them in real life. They looked so hot on you! I could see the outline of your cock, it was hard and huge and straining against the pants, wanting to get out. I knew what i had to do....

I'll leave it up to you to work out which part is life, and which part is fantasy ;)

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Cute college boy, but whats his name?

I've noticed a boy in some of my classes. And he's really cute! I think he might be gay. Not that he looks gay or anything, just very put together, fashionable, basically looks perfect. He could just be very metro, or Italian. Thats one thing i noticed when i was in Italy. Every guy (and girl) was dressed immaculately, not a hair out of place, everything matched, everything had a label. What can i say, they are a fashionable country. But i've seen the way he interacts with other people and he has these mannerisms that to me point towards him being gay.

But i don't even know his name :( And i'm not the stalker kind of guy, lol

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Hits and misses

I noticed my hits are on the rise (and with unique visitors not the same person checking if i've updated all the time, lol) so how about some comments people? Just to say hi, let me know who you are, or what you'd like to hear or see more of.


Is my blog porn???

I was checking out some statistics of my blog. My last hit was from Malaysia. Woohoo, my first from that country. Anyway, the referring link was and i'm thinking, is my blog categorized as porn? Not that its 100% clean, but porn?! Anyway, what do you reckon?

In the spirit of that link i'm going to post some skin. (No not of me)

I'm wearing a pair of these today. They're CK 365 seamless trunks, in white. And i love them! They're so soft and comfortable, they're my new favourite pair.

Enjoy! And maybe i might start posting pics, if you're good ;)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Am i being too 'needy'?

I never thought of myself as needy. I've always been the easygoing, shy guy, doesn't cause any ripples, takes everything dished out to him on the chin. But maybe i'm changing...

My hot guy friend (from now on to be known as HGF) and i used to have alot of contact. Not physical contact, but we used to chat alot online, email each other back and forth. And I mean alot! We live in different continents and in different timezones and it was rare that either of us wokeup in the morning not to find a bunch of emails had been sent throughout the night and were awaiting a response.

Nowadays things are completely different. It feels like we're on a slowdown. I know he's pretty stressed out right now, with work and other commitments (like his partner) but i guess rightly or wrongly i'm just feeling a little left out. These days i usually just shoot off an obligatory email saying good morning, if anything at all. Maybe i got too emotionally attached to him from the outset? I mean he's taken, so its not as if we're in a relationship, but i feel that he's the best thing ever to happen to me and i miss him. I know there's so much more to it than that but still...

Anyway whenever he comes around he knows i'll be waiting and ready for it. Even if it takes a long time. So what do all you reader(s) out there think?

In other news, i need more sleep. So i'm going cut down on my all you can watch buffet of gay porn (thanks and try to cut back on blog reading (but not too much). It's either that or sleep in every morning, which just isn't gonna work.I need to get into a proper routine, going to bed at reasonable hours, and waking up refreshed rather than exhausted. I wonder how long it'll last.