Monday, March 16, 2009

So much to write about.... it's crazy! Part 2

I had been thinking about this quite a bit for the past few weeks, Mr Z had something to do with it. How can I expect to date someone in public and still be in the closet to everyone? Especially when he's out to everyone. I began thinking more and more about coming out to someone. It wouldn't be easy, but I thought I should do it. He was a very close friend from back home. We'd been friends for years and years, went through school together, and even after we graduated had spend alot of time together. He was one of my more regular friends, rather than the ultra religious friends. I was extremely nervous, adding to the fact that he's not in the US, so I had to reach him either by phone or online. I did catch him online but it actually took some time before I was able to get it out. I'd told him i was dating someone a week or 2 before that, with some general information about the person I was dating. Obviously not telling him the main issues - its a he, not a she, there's a 10+ age year difference, and the person is not Jewish.

I told him it was a secret, and he was the only person I had told. I guess it was sort of a test. Not that I expected him to fail, I expected him to pass, I just had to be 1000% sure. Eventually I got him online and it took me a while to actually get it out. I had type what I had to say, and then had my finger over the enter button, but couldn't press it. Instead i deleted it and wrote FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! He had no clue what it was and why I was having so much trouble telling him. Eventually I just did it. At first he thought I was kidding. "Oh right, you're dating a 'he' ". No, it's not a 'he', it's a he. Obviously the reaction was more surprise/shock than anything else. He thought maybe since I didn't find a girl I liked I went gay, lol. But eventually he became curious. He began asking me questions, real ones, probing ones. About the guy I was dating. Where we met, about me being gay, how long i'd known, how i'd gone through my life keeping such a secret. I didn't look gay, i didn't act gay. It was a late night. But the main thing was at the end of our chat, he essentially said while he was surprised, he'd keep my secret, we were still great friends and this didn't change anything. That meant alot to me.

Ok moving on for my busy weekend. On Thursday I was working out on Long Island and made it back home really late. But i still made plans to meet up with Mr Z. I didn't want to go all the way to Manhattan because I had an early start the next morning, so he picked a few places in Brooklyn. 2 in Park Slope, and 2 in Williamsburg. After checking them out online I picked the Excelsior in Park Slope. I took the subway and when I got there he was chatting with an Australian guy, living in NY. He was there to meet a guy from manhunt (he went home alone though, i don't think the guy showed up :( ). Anyway I think we went a bit far at the bar, with kissing and such. But he didn't stop me. Also the sign on the bathroom said maximum of 1 person inside at a time, which was a clear invitation for us to go inside, lol. It was a really nice night, and on the way back we stopped at dunkin donuts, and then back to the subway where I managed to score one last kiss on the platform (and then 1 on the subway). Clearly I need to learn where boundaries should be, because he had more concerns than I did about doing it.

Thats it for part 2. Part 3 is on its way :)



David said...

You are too cute.

Yaakov said...

haha! david, i completely agree! jay, it's so fun to read about the good things that happen in your life. telling that close friend of yours, completely opening up to him after years of keeping something so huge hidden from him, and then having him accept you wholeheartedly - that sounds like such an amazing, uplifting, intense experience.
and i think it's hilarious that this guy who is completely out is having more issues about pda's than you are! im not saying he's wrong - it's a debatable issue. but picturing you, a somewhat closeted guy with a kippah on, doing all sorts of stuff with a guy who is out and not wearing a kippah, and having him get concerned - that's a very cute and funny scenario :)

Steve said...

I am so glad it worked out with your friend!! And yea, I agree with David and Yaacov too :)