I wrote this months ago but never posted it, but given my current topic i thought it definitely deserves to be read :) Hope it still flows well.
What a night! I'm sure i've said that before, but this was way different. In the past it was probably about clubbing or going out or even getting laid or something like that. This night involved none of those but it was incredible. Of course you all remember what happened in NY. If i'm going to blog about him I need a name... i'm sure i will come up with something. Or maybe i shouldn't be blogging about him. Maybe i should keep some things to myself, or between us. At the very least i'm writing this for posterity. I'm going to call him sabra (the hebrew word for a prickly pear)- because he can be a prick on the outside, but he's really sweet on the inside.
Things were not looking good, after last Thursday's experience, and getting caught out in a lie. I had another friend who was in town for the weekend. Straight, married. I told my parents I was going to be out with him. Who is he? A friend. Religious? Yes. What's his name? _____. Well what kind of jewish name is that?! Then the weather turned ugly. He was here for a weekend and ever since he arrived it had been raining nonstop. So much for summer. Really i just wanted to hang out with him, and if we'd be forced to spend the day in his hotel room I wouldn't have minded (put away all your naughty thoughts please, this is not one of those posts).
Anyway, I drove to meet him, and went up to his hotel room. I don't know why I was so nervous. True I'd never met him before, but I felt like I knew him. We'd been chatting and texting and emailing for months, and speaking on the phone. With trepidation (unwarranted of course) I knocked on the door. He answered it without a shirt on, damn he's cute :) . He invited me in and he finished getting dressed as we chit chatted about stuff. Before we left, he sat on my lap and kissed me. Not like a smooch, but a real kiss. What? Now I want to stay! Ok, fine, let's go. But what to do?
There were a few options but it was early to go clubbing or something like that. So instead we went out for a walk, along the river, into the city. Just talking, walking aimlessly, with no set destination, making turns randomly, just talking about life. At one point he was about to take me into a store. I know he didn't like my shoes, but he claimed to like everything else I was wearing. Claimed being the operative word. Now i'm all for receiving presents, but on a first date?! Seriously, kidding. Good he was comfortable enough to be straight up with me.
Eventually we made it back and thought we'd head in the general direction of the club that someone had recommended to me. It was early so we thought maybe a bar would be a good idea first. We went to the closest gay one but it didn't seem open. Or happening. So he called a friend of his instead. A drag queen, who recommended a couple of places in the area. We hit the first one, it was a nice hangout. We had a couple of drinks, I sat on a stool so we could see eye to eye. Yeah he was shorter than me, not that I minded, just something I noticed. Actually he noticed it too while walking. Well we got closer as the night went on. There was lots of playing, necking, kissing, biting (more on that later) more kissing. It seems once we started there was no stopping us. He did notice what looked like a hickie on the side of my neck and got a bit concerned. But there was nothing that could be done about that.
We went back to my car and onto the next place suggested. There was some reggae music on, pretty empty though. Lots of places to take advantage of me, and that he did. In the car, out of the car, in the bar. Ouch he can bite though. I'll have to be careful with him. After a drink we stopped in the city. Some colleagues of his were out for a drink so we joined them. A fun group of people, but the night was getting late and my boy was getting tired. So after some more beer and a bunch of laughs we bid them farewell and back to my car. Of course before we got to my car there was some passion on the street :)
It was time to call it a night, and I dropped him off at his hotel. I got a goodnight kiss (well more than 1) and said goodbye. It was sad to see him go, but I knew i'd see him again. I had to. Lots of thoughts were running through my head. This is what it feels like to really like a guy. I remember when he said something once way back when we were chatting. He told me he was ready to settle down and find a husband and I was at the top of his list. I don't know if he was serious or kidding, but I knew I liked him, not that i'd actually met him at the time, but this comment had always stuck in my mind.
Don't get me wrong. I wasn't ready for anything serious, nor was I looking for it. But it was nice to know that somewhere down the track being more than friends might be a possibility. I realised things would need to change. Not for him, but for me. I'd been busy enjoying life the past 12 months but I missed companionship. I hadn't really had a serious relationship. Ever. Mr Z didn't count - that was training wheels (hope he's not reading this). Things would really need to change. There's no way I could even try to sustain a relationship in the situation i'm in. I need to move on in life. I've graduated university, time to find a proper job, time to move out, and hopefully time to come out. The fact that he lives in another city just creates another hurdle. And I know i'm looking very far ahead right now and shouldn't be. What I do know is I have another great friend I'd like to see more of. If something develops, then good. If not, i have another friend for life :) Oh, and and one more thing. He asked if I needed him to pay for my plane tickets to come visit. Now i'm all for sugar daddies and people buying me things (i think i mentioned that once already, haha) and yes i'm looking for work while he's gainfully employed. But this is something I need to do for myself. I can't be going into this relying on other people for everything.
Oh and one more thing. I came home, it wasn't too late and my parents were still up. What are those marks on the back of your neck? It looks like you've been clawed! exclaimed my mother. I couldn't say anything but "i dunno what you're talking about". I then went to my room and took a photo of the offending marks. I don't even know whether they were hickies or bite marks. I could see the one on the side and why he was worried, but i don't know how he missed the one on the back. It seriously looked like i'd been attacked by something.
Well actually, i had, by someone, and i loved it :)
So that's the story... morning glory.
7 hours ago