Sunday, May 23, 2010

He bites!

I wrote this months ago but never posted it, but given my current topic i thought it definitely deserves to be read :) Hope it still flows well.

What a night! I'm sure i've said that before, but this was way different. In the past it was probably about clubbing or going out or even getting laid or something like that. This night involved none of those but it was incredible. Of course you all remember what happened in NY. If i'm going to blog about him I need a name... i'm sure i will come up with something. Or maybe i shouldn't be blogging about him. Maybe i should keep some things to myself, or between us. At the very least i'm writing this for posterity. I'm going to call him sabra (the hebrew word for a prickly pear)- because he can be a prick on the outside, but he's really sweet on the inside.

Things were not looking good, after last Thursday's experience, and getting caught out in a lie. I had another friend who was in town for the weekend. Straight, married. I told my parents I was going to be out with him. Who is he? A friend. Religious? Yes. What's his name? _____. Well what kind of jewish name is that?! Then the weather turned ugly. He was here for a weekend and ever since he arrived it had been raining nonstop. So much for summer. Really i just wanted to hang out with him, and if we'd be forced to spend the day in his hotel room I wouldn't have minded (put away all your naughty thoughts please, this is not one of those posts).

Anyway, I drove to meet him, and went up to his hotel room. I don't know why I was so nervous. True I'd never met him before, but I felt like I knew him. We'd been chatting and texting and emailing for months, and speaking on the phone. With trepidation (unwarranted of course) I knocked on the door. He answered it without a shirt on, damn he's cute :) . He invited me in and he finished getting dressed as we chit chatted about stuff. Before we left, he sat on my lap and kissed me. Not like a smooch, but a real kiss. What? Now I want to stay! Ok, fine, let's go. But what to do?

There were a few options but it was early to go clubbing or something like that. So instead we went out for a walk, along the river, into the city. Just talking, walking aimlessly, with no set destination, making turns randomly, just talking about life. At one point he was about to take me into a store. I know he didn't like my shoes, but he claimed to like everything else I was wearing. Claimed being the operative word. Now i'm all for receiving presents, but on a first date?! Seriously, kidding. Good he was comfortable enough to be straight up with me.

Eventually we made it back and thought we'd head in the general direction of the club that someone had recommended to me. It was early so we thought maybe a bar would be a good idea first. We went to the closest gay one but it didn't seem open. Or happening. So he called a friend of his instead. A drag queen, who recommended a couple of places in the area. We hit the first one, it was a nice hangout. We had a couple of drinks, I sat on a stool so we could see eye to eye. Yeah he was shorter than me, not that I minded, just something I noticed. Actually he noticed it too while walking. Well we got closer as the night went on. There was lots of playing, necking, kissing, biting (more on that later) more kissing. It seems once we started there was no stopping us. He did notice what looked like a hickie on the side of my neck and got a bit concerned. But there was nothing that could be done about that.

We went back to my car and onto the next place suggested. There was some reggae music on, pretty empty though. Lots of places to take advantage of me, and that he did. In the car, out of the car, in the bar. Ouch he can bite though. I'll have to be careful with him. After a drink we stopped in the city. Some colleagues of his were out for a drink so we joined them. A fun group of people, but the night was getting late and my boy was getting tired. So after some more beer and a bunch of laughs we bid them farewell and back to my car. Of course before we got to my car there was some passion on the street :)

It was time to call it a night, and I dropped him off at his hotel. I got a goodnight kiss (well more than 1) and said goodbye. It was sad to see him go, but I knew i'd see him again. I had to. Lots of thoughts were running through my head. This is what it feels like to really like a guy. I remember when he said something once way back when we were chatting. He told me he was ready to settle down and find a husband and I was at the top of his list. I don't know if he was serious or kidding, but I knew I liked him, not that i'd actually met him at the time, but this comment had always stuck in my mind.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't ready for anything serious, nor was I looking for it. But it was nice to know that somewhere down the track being more than friends might be a possibility. I realised things would need to change. Not for him, but for me. I'd been busy enjoying life the past 12 months but I missed companionship. I hadn't really had a serious relationship. Ever. Mr Z didn't count - that was training wheels (hope he's not reading this). Things would really need to change. There's no way I could even try to sustain a relationship in the situation i'm in. I need to move on in life. I've graduated university, time to find a proper job, time to move out, and hopefully time to come out. The fact that he lives in another city just creates another hurdle. And I know i'm looking very far ahead right now and shouldn't be. What I do know is I have another great friend I'd like to see more of. If something develops, then good. If not, i have another friend for life :) Oh, and and one more thing. He asked if I needed him to pay for my plane tickets to come visit. Now i'm all for sugar daddies and people buying me things (i think i mentioned that once already, haha) and yes i'm looking for work while he's gainfully employed. But this is something I need to do for myself. I can't be going into this relying on other people for everything.

Oh and one more thing. I came home, it wasn't too late and my parents were still up. What are those marks on the back of your neck? It looks like you've been clawed! exclaimed my mother. I couldn't say anything but "i dunno what you're talking about". I then went to my room and took a photo of the offending marks. I don't even know whether they were hickies or bite marks. I could see the one on the side and why he was worried, but i don't know how he missed the one on the back. It seriously looked like i'd been attacked by something.

Well actually, i had, by someone, and i loved it :)

So that's the story... morning glory.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I'm totally non-confrontational. That's my problem!

Well let me rephrase that. I'm very non-confrontational in person. Yet for some reason if i'm really pissed off at someone i'll usually let it simmer for a while (or more accurately boil inside) and then i'll do something stupid like send that person an email or text letting it all out. A word to the wise... don't. It's stupid. All it will do is piss of the other person and you probably won't even get your point across which is what you were trying to do in the first place.

Well you probably know about the whole new york debacle. I blogged about it before but now i'm heading back there because there's a continuation to the story. The following is a message I got from him after the whole thing followed by my reply I sent him once i'd sort of calmed down. It's edited slightly.

OMG!!!!!!! U can not possibly imagine what has happened to me overnite. I lost both phones, the one u got me and my blackberry, after dinner in the city we went to some bar and i left it there by mistake.

I can not apologise to u over and over again last nite, without the phones i had no way of connecting with u. My laptop internet went down and only now have i been able to log on and message. YOU!

I am again so sorry but to be honest i was more stressed that i had lost the phone and then the nitemare wouldve begun! I will get the phone back in an hour or so and so then we can chat and i can make up for last nite.

anyway, welcome to my world where there are dramas all around the corner!

call u when i get the phone

Well that was it. He called me a few hours after but I really wasn't interested in talking. I didn't so much as hang up on him, rather i told him I didn't want to speak to him then. Later that night he was busy with work but he said he'd call me when he was done. For a while i didn't think he'd actually call, but he did, it was around 11 or 12 and I was in bed already.

"So when are we hanging out?" he asked.
"Well we're not. I head to JFK tomorrow at about midday." We did have a bit of a chat but that was it. I found it hard to be mad at him. But i was. I left the next day and a couple days after arriving home I sat down to send him a message.

I'm sorry if parts of this will sound harsh, but it is what it is, and i hope you understand why i'm so upset. This was something i'd been looking forward to for months. We'd been chatting online for ages, spoken on the phone. It was my last weekend in NY. I kept my sunday pretty free because we were supposed to be hanging out (yes I actually did have to say no to people who wanted to hang out before I left). I'd planned on coming out to my sister before i left (which i did btw), so really hanging out with you was pretty much the last thing I had to look forward to before I left. First you were gonna visit some friends of yours and that turned into dinner with them. I got home at like 9.30 ish, thinking ok you're out to dinner. I called you at 10, to see what you were up to and to let you know I was home and ready whenever. I stayed there, getting bored, watching tv, waiting for your phone call. I called u again at 12. By 1 I gave up and went to bed, really pissed off. I woke up, no missed calls, no texts, i think i called u at 2, again no answer. I just thought well fuck you. I met with a friend for coffee in Soho, and i pretty much let it all out on him. Anyway, i know its not your fault, and shit happens, but all that time I was just so mad i got my hopes up of meeting you because clearly you had better plans.

Maybe we had diferent ideas of what was actually going to happen, or what we wanted to happen, but NY is gone. A missed opportunity. And you deciding to come to visit me doesn't quite come close to what could've happened in NY. In new york i had as much freedom as i wanted, and here i'm still learning how far i can push the boundaries. Sydney would be an option, and maybe had we met in new york i'd be making plans to head to sydney soon. But we didn't, so who knows if/when i'll be seeing you :(

Sorry for turning it into a rant but it's how i feel/felt. Even if it sounds all drama queenish. I wrote it in stages and probably forgot half the things i wanted to say, but i needed to get it off my chest.

That was it. I never got a response.

I'll leave you with a thought. It's one thing to say you're sorry. It's another to act like you mean it.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Brisvegas or Brisneyland? How about neither?

I'm back from my most recent trip to Brisbane, and what a difference it was from my previous trip a few months ago. Back then I spent some time checking out the city, the nightlife, the gay scene. All that kind of stuff.

To be honest, it left a lot to be desired. I checked out a place called the Sportsmans Hotel. There were a bunch of guys playing pool. A few old guys, a few young guys. Not really my crowd. I sat down at the bar and had a beer, and got hit on by a senior citizen. I tried the Wickham Hotel next. It was actually alot better. Not great, but there was a decent crowd of people. I had some beers with a few guys I met there. Of course they told me I needed to be in town on the weekend if I wanted to experience what Brisbane had to offer, but that wasn't an option for me. One actually told me he'd be at Sporties (as the Sportsman Hotel is known) the next day for some karaoke if I wanted to join him. Sounded like a bit of fun, so I figured i'd see how my day went.

They headed off but the night was still young, so I checked out Megabeat. Its a nightclub but I guess I was too early for the 2am crowd, because other than the bartender I was 1 of about 2 guys in the entire building. So of course I got chatting and drinking with him. There was a show by some old drag queen, and there were a small crowd of girls there so I wasn't the only one to shake my booty and embarrass myself. But i digress. This guy, who was a blondie, seemed to be more into me than I was into him. And i'd had too much to drink by that time, so of course when the crowd grew and there were more entertaining people to chat with, I moved on. And blondie was pissed, lol. I got chatting to another guy and we ended up leaving together and started walking home. Yes he came back with me, but no we didn't do anything. We were both exhausted, it was past 3am and I had work the next morning and had to be on time. But the company was great :)

The next day was my welcome lunch at the company. This is Brisbane and no there are no kosher places around. There are barely any jews around! Well it made things easier that I don't keep kosher 100%. And by that I mean I will eat non-kosher, but will stay away from non-kosher meats, and everything else that by definition is not-kosher. So no lobster, crab or prawns for me either, but with those restrictions in mind, there are plenty of places to eat. I didn't need a vegetarian place. Regular eateries had something I could eat. (One of my workmates did actually say to me once "but you can eat kosher pork, right?"). Anyway lunch was nice, met most of the employees at the office there and it was all on the company's bill :) .

I did end up going back to Sporties to check out this karaoke. It was bit sad but it was better than nothing, and I hung out with the best looking guy of the bunch that I had met that night. I will not go into detail about what we got up to that night. But his place had a nice balcony, with a great view of the city, and it was only a short walk back to my hotel afterwards.

The next night I was hoping for a bit more excitement. A friend of mine was in the area for a long weekend away so he drove up for the night. We first went walking through the city and ended up at the casino. We had something to eat at their restaurant and met up with a friend of his who recommended we head to Fortitude Valley which is supposedly where the nightlife is supposed to be. Unfortunately for Brisbane that means a bunch of loud drunk teenagers and a lot of cops. It really wasn't much, and it was a Thursday night!

Well that was the end of my first trip. I went back a couple weeks ago and this trip was so much different! For starters I didn't do much there after hours, just chilled out at home. Home being my company's apartment in a building that overlooks the city which was really cool. Really nicely decked out.

I did have a guest over one night after work. No not THAT type of guest. I had a friend i'd been chatting to on gaydar. He lived in Sydney but was heading to Brisbane for work the following week. And 2 days later I found out that I would be too. So he came over one night for a few drinks before his flight back home, that was nice. Other than that I was just busy with work and chilling out after work. And that's how the trip ended. To be fair there's nothing inherently wrong with Brisbane, but after spending so much time in New York I'm used to more. More people, more nightlife. Everything seems small compared to it.

I came home and had one day left for the week at work. It consisted of a couple hours work, an extended lunch meeting at a restaurant with a coworker and associate and then a stop at a pub on the way back. Now if only every week ended like that :)