Friday, June 13, 2008

4 is closer to 3 than it is to 1

Mathematically that's correct, but i wish it weren't so in my life. It's been 3 days since my last message to #4. He actually seemed ok with all this, but now i'm not so sure. I know its not the best feeling to have this sprung on you, but i didn't have much choice. Maybe me coming out to certain people is not a good idea. So far i've lost more than i've gained.

I'm sure someone out there will say if they don't want to be my friend during trying times, then they weren't a good friend to begin with, and while that may be true, the people i thought i felt comfortable coming out to are dropping like flies.

Someone told me he asked a random friend of his what he would do. His friend would've dumped me too. That doesn't bode well for my future!

Anyway, i've created a poll in the top right of this page. What would you do? Please vote, as i'd love to see what you think.



Anonymous said...

"Someone told me he asked a random friend of his what he would do. His friend would've dumped me too. That doesn't bode well for my future!"

Not everyone will think like that. It's shallow and one could even say it's selfish but the net is a fickle place, it makes it easier to come out but it also makes it easier to walk away.

Reminds me of a time or two or three (really it's not happened any more then three times (I wish)) when I've been at a bar, club or any gay place - I showed some interest in someone, got chatting then poof! (pardon the pun) they're off. Dumped! In their dust.

It happens. To know that doesn't make it any easier, but it happens.

...End Rant.

PsychGuy said...

From personal experience I have found that the truth is the best. When I was first coming out there were many times I lied or stretched the truth but then the stories made to cover the truth just continue to grow. I finally made the decision that I needed to be open to people in my life. Some people I lost, some were confused because they thought I could not be gay, and others were super supportive. The people who supported me the most were actually the ones I thought would drop me immediately. The only thing that bothers me is that my brother has become distant, meaning I have little contact with my nephews. But all in all I am happy with who I am and how I live my life. Keep strong and be honest with yourself.

Jay said...

Anon: The fact of the matter is, shallow or not, I can't say I blame them. If it would happen to me, i'd like to think that i'd give them a chance and be understanding, even if i was upset about it.

Psychguy: I havent even gone that far as dealing with people actually in my life. I'm dealing with my 'online friends' and its hard enough just dealing with them. My family, i don't even want to think how badly that can go.

I will say one thing though, I made the poll, then wrote the post and saw i already had a vote on the poll. I checked the results, and that vote was to 'F off'. It made my day... not!

I have since been contacted by #4, so things are looking up :)


Curious Bob said...

It takes time to adjust, let the dust settle before you write people off. They may not have written you off. It hurts but whether the separation is temporary or permanent, time helps. Give it time.

Jay said...

hey bob,

I know know that #4 just takes time, so i'm certainly not writing him off. #3 i've written off because i know he has received my emails, i know he comes online, but chooses not to reply. To me that means he's written me off. If he changes his mind down the track, i'll think about it then. But for now, there is no #3.


Anonymous said...

What about #2?

Jay said...

#2 has been pretty quiet of late, but he's in a different category to the others so no writing him off.