Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Open question time

I thought i'd open to forum to my readers. Can a person know he is gay without having any 'experience' with a woman? Your thoughts please.

jay

11 comments:

ewe said...

I guess if an experience makes you happy then that is what defines who you are more than another experience you may not be interested in. I don't need to eat strawberry ice cream to know that vanilla and chocolate are fattening.

Marc said...

I don't believe experience is necessary to know what you feel, to know who attracts you.

Anonymous said...

It depends on what gay means to you specifically. If "gay" simply means that you have a sexual attraction to men greater than women, then there is no reason to think that any experience is necessary. But, if "gay" means more than just sexual attraction, which I believe it does, then you do need experiences in order to determine how you feel and what you are. If you find yourself on one of your dates and enjoy her company a lot, but feel no sexual attraction, that should tell you something just like spending time with "him" told you a lot.

Just my thoughts...

N.

Jay said...

It wasn't something that I was wondering, but someone asked me the question and I didn't have an answer. I didn't need to have had some experience with a woman to know I was gay. Everything told me that. I never had any attraction to women, so that settled that, in my mind at least.

j

E Winkler said...

hey, so i used to think i couldn't know until i experienced both. it made no difference, however, when i finally was with a girl, all i knew was that i wanted guys. something inside of me just told me. i'll tell you what did it- being with a guy. that experience felt so right inside... and considering uve just done that, i know that you know that feeling of it being so right. that's all u need.

David said...

Considering many of us know we are "different" before we even hit puberty, I don't believe that you need any "experience" with a member of the opposite sex, or even the same sex, to know where your affinities lie.

The largest sex organ is the brain. The genitals only confirm what the mind already knows.

Anonymous said...

David, you summed up my thoughts better than I did, but that's precisely what I meant. It's about the brain more than anything else and the sexual attraction just comes later to confirm what you already knew. Thanks David!

N. (a great fan from Canada)

California Shy Guy said...

Yes. One can know he is gay without having been with a woman. :)

Blobby said...

Oh g-d yes. At least in my opinion.

I knew "for sure" when I was 13, but didn't have any "experience" for a few years later.

Looking back, I probably really knew at 5-6 (yes. really!!), but you don't know what that is at that age.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Marc, you just know!!

Dave in Oz said...

Most definitely, yes - I knew early, but didn't act on it until I reached my 30s. I'm slow to mature.