Friday, January 9, 2009

The long awaited visit to JQY

Well i actually did it, and it was a blast! Well not so much a blast as a fun, exciting, interesting and nerve racking experience. I had come to the city to attend my first JQY meeting. Having missed my chance to attend the December meeting, I knew January was gonna be the one. Well i hoped it would be anyway.

I had arrived early and didn't want to go in alone. Not that i was scared or anything, i just didn't want to have to walk in and go to the front desk and ask where the gay jews were meeting, lol. So i went for a walk, about 5 blocks away i got a text msg from someone that they were there and waiting for me. Well no backing out now... so i turned around and headed back in the direction of the JCC. Of course I nearly bumped into someone I knew, but i wasn't gonna back out now. I walked in the front door and there he was waiting, but i had to go through the metal detector first. Cellphone, wallet, watch, ipod, keys... it felt like forever till i was able to get through. I put out my hand, but he was waiting with open arms. Ok I can do a hug, lol.

We headed upstairs, there were only 1 or 2 others there, but we were early so what did i expect? They were people I recognized from facebook. I introduced myself, using my real name, lol. Slowly people began to show up, some i recognized, some i didn't. And the meeting began. We went around the table introducing ourselves. When the spotlight fell on me, I told them who I was, where I was from and where I lived. I also included that some of them may know me from my fake facebook profile Jay. They discussed the year, what they wanted for the future of the organization and other stuff. I probably would've spoken up a few times had the drink i was downing been vodka and not water. Oh well, there's always next time. Some guys did want to introduce some things more jewish and religious, but they were turned down. There's a time and a place for that, and it wasn't at this meeting.

After the meeting officially broke up, it was time for socializing. I was introduced to a bunch of people which was fun, getting to know them all. And then we moved on to a bar across the street, a gay bar in fact. I should've known it was a gay bar right when i walked in, from the crowd and the music that was playing, but i was oblivious to it, until the huge rainbow flag was pointed out to me on the wall behind me. Of course I didn't see 2 guys making out until a while later, but it was good not to feel weird looking at them. It was fun, had a drink, met some cool people, had quite a good time. A short while later I received a phone call which pretty much ruined my night and it was late, so I decided to go.

One thing i noticed which I wasn't expecting was many of them are just like any regular gay guy, only with a yarmulka on their head. I know that sounds funny. Some were really camp - i think thats the word. Walking in, kissing and hugging everyone. Not that there's anything wrong with it, i just wasn't expecting it. I was the guy who put my hand out to shake, only to find the other guy waiting for a hug, lol.

A while ago I was chatting with one guy who told me he didn't really like JQY - he thought the guys were were really clicky. And I could see where he was coming from. I don't want this to sound like a critique and i did have a good time, just there were times where i felt like the odd one out. At least thanks to my fake profile, i sort of knew some of them, so i didn't feel so awkward.

Anyway, overall it was great, and i can't wait for the next one :)



dpaste said...

This sounds great. I am so happy that you went to this. It is such an important step for you. And I'm glad you accepted the hugs. Another big step. And show me a gay group, or any group for that matter, that isn't "clique-y" to some degree and I'll show you a group that doesn't exist. We humans are like any powdered drink, if we are not shaken vigorously, we settle in clumps.

Jay said...

Hey, i can hug ppl! lol.

Anonymous said...

hey jay, im happy to hear an outside opinion of what goes on there. personally i am still afraid for whatever reason to go to a meeting and feeling awkward in situation like you discussed bother me too. Anyways, thanks a lot for saying your feelings and talking about the meeting it was VERY helpful. :)

Jay said...

Hey anonymous. Glad i could be of service. Have we chatted before? Are you interested? shoot me an email :)