Tuesday, February 3, 2009

My weekend with Milk

Saturday night arrived… what to do! Well I could go to G lounge, on the long shot that the guy I saw the previous week would be there again. And who would I go with? So I called up a friend, he’d never been to a place like this before, and I didn’t want to push him to come with me in case he wasn’t ok with it. I mentioned that I was considering going, and he said maybe he could come. I let him think it over and in the end he joined me. We walked in and went straight to the bar and got our first drink.

Eventually we found a place to sit, sort of by the window, away from most of the crowd. I couldn’t really scout the crowd but the guy probably wasn’t there anyway. We were there, drinking and chatting. Then a guy came over who was sitting nearby. Are you orthodox? He asked. I said yeah. Are you gay? He asked. I said yeah. He asked a few more questions, then went back to the guy he was there with to tell all, lol. Eventually we moved over to them because of course they had more questions. It was a really interesting conversation. But eventually they left, and after another drink or 2 we left too, going our separate ways.

For Sunday I had some things planned. While everyone was busy superbowl partying, I was going to meet David for dinner. I got to the place and looked in the window. Yep he was there already. Of course I was nervous from the get go, not that there was any reason to be. He was a really nice friendly guy. Of course I’d spoken to him quite bit over the past few months, but meeting is always different. We had a nice meal, with the superbowl going on in the background, lol. After the meal the superbowl was still on, so where better than to watch the ending but in Gym sports bar in Chelsea. We took the subway, and the place was absolutely packed with hot/cute guys, lol. It was great that we made our way through to the back. He went to get us some beers so it was just me, all alone. I felt a bit weird, a few people looking at me, but all was good. We had a really nice time, a great game ending, and there was this one guy in a group in front of us with longish blond hair, wearing a white Henley, oh he was so cute :). We caught each other’s eyes a few times and we both smiled. Eventually he introduced himself and his friends which was nice. Of course post game was the perfect opportunity for him and his bf to start kissing. Well he’s taken then, lol.

After the game we said our goodbyes. I stuck around roaming the streets of Chelsea because I had some phone calls to make. I considered going into the G lounge, but I decided I didn’t need to be there EVERY night, so I walked right past it, had a bit of a look in. Just roaming the streets there walking past all the hot guys is so much fun. I should do it more often! I had a really fun time with David and I hope we can do it again sometime. Of course there was a cute guy on the subway home :).

Now we’re up to Monday. I was out, but I’d been thinking of going to see Milk with a friend. Of course he’d been wanting to see it for a while, but we decided we’d see it together. I’d had to cancel on him a few times, but this was it. We made it to a late night showing with only a few other people in the theater. It was a really good movie, which of course seeing that I was the last gay person to see it should’ve said something to me. The movie really hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting. Ok so I didn’t know Harvey gets killed. I need to go over my gay rights history on Wikipedia, lol. But on the way home I actually started to seriously think about what things would be like for me if I came out. How my family would react. What my parents would do. What my friends would think. Who would I tell first. Who should I tell first? When would I do it? There were so many questions and I played them through in my head numerous times. Whatever it is, it’s not gonna be easy, but things are now starting to get serious. I’m not jumping the gun, but I can see the end of the tunnel. I hope there’s some light there.



tkob said...

As my good friend Shabse always says, "I hope that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't an oncoming train."

Yaakov said...

it can be sort of scary not knowing what'll happen at the end of the tunnel, of course. but i guess a good way to think about it is that at the end, even if it's not all easy, at least at that point ull be able to live life for real. and i think itll all be worth it for that.

DM said...

You are not the last gay to see that movie. I have not seen it. I also did not know that he died, so thanks for that. LOL at the oncoming train comment ;)

EM said...

I assume (from what you've written in previous posts) that when you come out you plan on leaving some of the religous aspects of your life behind and live a more American "mainstream" lifestyle. I don't really know anything about Orthodox Judaism or what it entails but I guess it will be quite a shock/change for your family (and friends) when all that happens a once. Have you ever thought of starting the process by expressing an intrest in living a more secular and mainstream lifestyle? That you want to find your own way and that also is a reason why you're pushing off marriage etc. This would be a way to ease them into the change ahead and that you might not go down the expected path.

Maybe this is something you've already thought of, or already started doing.

Bobby said...

I love reading your posts handsome! They are so adorable. I miss hanging out with you.

Jay said...

I'll keep away from the train, thanks for the tip tkob.

DM sorry you had to find out this way, but someone told me as we were walking in to the theater. Anyway you find out from the first 90 seconds of watching it anyway, so i haven't ruined it for you. You should still see it.

EM, that is what i plan on doing... but i need to be somewhat able to stand on my own 2 feet before it do it.

Anonymous said...

Milk is good though huh?

It was a reminder to me about the pain and suffering only a generation older them me went through to allow me to express myself and be open and "normal" in the world I live in without fear or judgment.

Now, I just need to convince my family that's it's so 1960 to hate gays.

David said...

Hey Jay,

It was great meeting you in person! I had fun as well and hope we can hang out more in the future.

You have a real knack for engaging people. Folks, he chatted up more guys at the bar then I would have in a week of bar-going. He's a natural.

Glad you liked "Milk," and glad it got you started thinking more about that next step.


Jay said...

Thanks anon, or should i just call you babe? lol

As for you David, were we at the same bar?!? ;)