A while ago i'd been chatting with a guy. We'd been introduced by someone, who knew we were originally from the same place. So ok, i'm always looking for new friends, right? So we got into a discussion one day. Well it was a chat on msn. I won't say it got heated, but we have very different opinions on gay issues. For example gay marriage. He's against gay marriage, you can be partners, have a common union, whatever, just don't call it marriage.
There was something though that really irked me, and made no sense. At least to me. I've been wanting to blog about it for a while, I even made a poll to see what people thought. The easiest way would be just to post our chat or excerpts from it, remove his name and other identifying details and see what people thought. 77% of voters thought I should post it. I asked him and he preferred that I didn't, instead he wanted me to summarize what he wrote, so that's what i'll try to do.
His general point is that he's not gay. He's SSA - same sex atracted. Yeah i laughed at that. I thought it made no sense. I am gay, and i told him that. His response was that 'gays are very careful to adopt a gay identity, and if u told them the label didnt mean much, [they'd] bang u over the head with rainbow flag pole'.
Some other nuggets: today there are categories, gay lesbian bi and straight. In much the same way that there is male and female, but male and female are biological innate constructs, u know because u look for certain sexual organs and its written into the dna. Sexual feleings on the other hand are composed of: at its very root sexual and emotional **feelings**. the next step is to *act* on those feelings, whether one acts on them or not is a choice and so is the decision to *identify* as what one *feels/experiences*. Thats the thing there doesnt have to be a next step, theres no gay rule book that says after u "feel" and "do", u must "be".
Maybe this whole philosophical/biological crap is going way over my head, or maybe i'm just stupid. Either way, i don't buy this crap.
The fact is i'm gay. I don't look gay (do i?!), I don't walk around with rainbow flags, march in pride parades, but i can admit that i'm gay. I don't positively or negatively identify with the 'gay' label, but it was what i am. If you want to refuse to call yourself gay, well thats your problem, not mine.
4 hours ago