I've got lots of thoughts floating around in my head, so i thought i'd put some of them down on 'paper'. One question thats always bothered me was can i be a practising jew and a 'practising' homosexual.
According to traditional orthodox judaism, that answer is no. Sexual 'immorality' is one of the 3 cardinal sins in judaism, something one should give up his life for, rather than transgress (male to male anal sex falls within this category). The other two being idolatry and murder. This is based on some verse in the book of Leviticus.
There are different ways one can go about responding to this problem. There are those who just avoid anal sex. Oral sex and masturbation are considered lesser forms of sin. Others have the belief that the literal translation cannot be the correct interpretation of this verse because God made us gay, and there is no way he would not allow us to have a loving sexual relationship with other men, forcing us to be celibate, so this must mean something else.
I don't think i fall into either category. My whole life all i've been taught is that it's wrong (no thats not all i've been taught ;) ) and to say it must mean something else doesn't sit so well with me. It kind of sounds like taking the easy way out. On the other hand i'm not going to live my life without sex to please some higher being. And thats where i'm stuck.
Since my late teens i've started to become more and more apathetic or disinterested with religion. Everything is done more because i'm used to doing it by rote. Praying, eating kosher, but it just doesn't do anything for me anymore, and i find myself becoming completely disinterested, and less observant in my conduct. I sometimes contemplate about giving it all up. Obviously its not something to taken lightly, but i don't see much of a choice. Maybe being gay is my get out of jail free card. If they don't want me, then i don't want to be a part of them either....
4 hours ago