Monday, August 24, 2009

Hello stranger, goodbye friend

I did something last week that I don't normally do, and the way I did it was in a way I never do. I met up with one of my facebook friends. Now that's not such a crazy thing, except for the fact that most of my facebook 'friends' don't know my real identity. Until now the way these things happen is usually i'll tell them my story, then show them my real profile, and then maybe meet. Yeah I know, very convoluted. This was more of a spur of the moment meeting. I had posted on my status that I was heading to Brooklyn, and one of my 'friends' was a southern boy on a roadtrip with a friend and was going to be in Brooklyn too. I was going to be back late, and he said he'd be out for an hour so who knew if we'd actually connect. I made it back to my apartment, and drove to Carrol Gardens to a bar he was heading to with his friend.

While he'd read some of my blog, he didn't know the full story, didn't know what I looked like, he didn't even know my real name. This was going to be interesting. It actually turned out to be a real fun night. 1 drink became 2 which became 3 which became 3 and a half. 1 hour turned into a good few. He was funny and sweet and just an all-round nice guy. I was having a great time with him. It started with something small, a hand brushing my knee, a touch here and a smile there, eventually we got to hands being held. He seemed really interested.

Eventually he went to use the restroom and I decided to follow him. I went in to an open one and left the door unlocked and he followed me inside. What followed was a hot, passionate make out session that we both wished could've gone on forever. It's not something I do often, and not something i'd ever done in a straight bar. There's no doubt about it, the guy is really into me, which is where my problem lies. Not that I'm not into him, but it's just that my life is complicated right now. Yes I'd love to be dating someone right now. But he lives down south, and I live in New York, and i'll be heading back home in less than two months. Not being out is definitely an issue too. If he lived in New York, then maybe it wouldn't be such an issue, if might a short term thing, or a bit of a fling. But as it is now, i feel guilty about letting him think it might actually turn into something serious. I know, I know, he's an adult and can take care of himself.

But really, how many times does someone tell me i'm husband material? Beautiful? Amazing? Sexy? Well too often when it comes to me ;) But the compliments just kept on coming. Over the next 24 hours we exchanged i'd say 150-200 texts. Yeah, insane. So there's my dilemma. If i'd gotten lucky that night it would've been amazing and if the opportunity arose again to be with him i'd say hell yeah, but i do feel bad in that I don't think it can go anywhere. And for one of us to fly across the country to see the other person while it would be nice, it sort of feels a bit like leading him on. He comes back to NYC for a couple days but i'll be overseas, so who knows what lies in store in the future.

I am definitely going to have a lot to think about on this upcoming trip, which by the way is to Buenos Aires. I made contact with one of my jewish gay fb friends from New York who is living there now so it looks like it is gonna be a great trip :)

Just a couple more things before I go. I hung out with a couple of friends over the weekend. Friday night I met up with a friend and we went for a walk abit, and talked alot, and smoked up a bit, lol. It's funny the people you meet at 2am on a friday night. I also found out about another guy I know of that is gay. They're all coming out of the woodwork it seems. Last night when I was supposed to be packing another friend got back to NYC from a weekend away. Since I'd been away for a good few weeks it felt like I hadn't seen him in so long, so we went out to get some food, and then went for a long walk around Brooklyn which was really nice. The clock is ticking down to my impending departure back home, and while I've gotten used to the fact that I am actually going, I don't think it has hit me yet about how much I'm going to miss all these new friends. We may have had contact before my trip here, maybe online chat or email. But nothing compares to actually hanging out with them.

And lastly today I wanted to meet up with another friend who was visiting. He'd been here a couple of months and he was heading to Argentina himself. He lands in Buenos Aires half an hour before I depart. FML. I should've gone to see him yesterday but that didn't work out, so I decided to drive in to the city this morning. Big mistake. I underestimated how long it would take me to get there, i didn't count of being stuck in traffic, not did I think about having nowhere to park due to alternate side parking. I thought mayeb we'd hang for a bit, go get coffee or something and then i'd leave. By the time I got there he was busy making lunch, and I was stressing out. I'd just arrived and had actually planned on leaving around that time. It was a disaster of enormous proportions. At least I got to see him, and since I had a car I gave him a ride with all his luggage to midtown where he was crashing till next week before he leaves on his big trip. Well at least I got to see him, and I made it where I was going eventually and I think i'm going to make my flight, lol.

Ok time to get out of here, no time to even proofread this post.
adios amigos


Anonymous said...

absence makes the heart grow fonder ....

you are right about the proofreading, but sometimes it makes better reading - lmao

enjoy Argentina

Audrey the Liberal said...

Just out of curiosity, what country are you originally from?

Jay said...

Anon, maybe i should continue to blog without proofreading :)

And audrey, thats one thing you probably won´t see me reveal anytime soon.

David said...

Re: Southern boy

No need for guilt unless you promised you would wait for him and love him forever, which I doubt you did.

You'll keep in touch until you don't and it will go the way of so many of these things, becoming another fond memory. Let it go.

Audrey the Liberal said...

Just for shits and giggles, I'm gonna guess South Africa.

Jay said...

D, i guess its more of a lament, that my situation is that it´d be hard for me to do alot of things i´d like to do right now, such as date a person seriously.

And audrey, you can guess all you want. But i will not confirm nor deny any of them.