Thursday, June 18, 2009

The best weekend ever!

*Disclaimer: This post was written over numerous days, sometimes late at night, and I hope it doesn't sound too disjointed.

Last week was a GLBT shabbat dinner that I almost didn't attend. I don't know why, because I had so much fun! It was at a friends birthday party a few weeks ago that I saw one of the organizers and he told me I should come. So I made serious plans to try to attend. I spoke to Mr Splash about staying at his place again. I hate asking people for favors, but this is really the only way I can attend. He always says yes when he gets back, he probably wonders if I was actually there!

I got ready, and needed to decide what to wear. Yes it was Shabbat, but i didn't want to look like some ultra ortho guy. I made my way to Congregation Rodeph Shalom, where the dinner and pride service were being held. I came alone and fashionably late. I took a seat in one of the back rows and looked for anyone I knew. I spotted a few but I wasn't going to walk all the way up in the middle of the service, and eventually some stragglers joined me in the back too. At some point a couple of guys walked in, and I knew one of them. F*ck! I thought, what is he doing here? There's no way he didn't see me, where do I go? I can't walk out. Then i thought about it for a bit, if he's here, there's a reason for him being here, the same reason i'm here. So what the hell am I worried about?! This should definitely be an interesting conversation I thought. It was an interesting service. Definitely not something I'm used to, but it wasn't bad.

Afterwards we went down to the social hall, everyone was basically hanging around and mingling till people got the ball rolling and everyone sat down. My table had a mix of guys on it, there were some JQYers and some i'd never met before, visiting from out of town or overseas. It was a really nice evening, Judy Gold the jewish lesbian comedian was absolutely hilarious! There was lots and lots of chatting and meeting people, it was a lot of fun. Someone came up to me during the meal to tell me that there was a guy interested in me and asked what I thought of transguys. Needless to say, wasn't quite my thing. Everyone was making contacts and I met a few very interesting people, some who are even from the same place that i'm from. People had their cellphones out and blackberries, and I thought why didn't I bring mine? It's not like I keep shabbat 100% anyway, right?

There was an afterparty scheduled at someone's apartment which was a more cozy atmosphere but time to meet even more people and also alot of fun. And he had a stunning balcony which was just perfect to sit outside. I got talking to people I didn't get to chat with at the dinner. I actually learnt some interesting things that night. One person mentioned to me that he was facebook friends with some friends of mine, but they had unfriended him when i had friended him as they were concerned about me thinking they might be gay. Um hello?! How did you think I knew him? lol. The host also mentioned to me a second person that was interested in me... looks like my new look was getting some attention :) Well we started chatting but ended up outside enjoying the dark cool night, talking until it appeared we were the last ones left, so we made a move too and wished the host a good night. And i'll leave the night at that. Suffice to say I spent the next few days sporting a huge hickey on my neck!

The next day was a really nice day :). I walked back to where I was staying, showered and changed and then walked another 30 blocks or so to lunch. Again it was really nice, some boys, some girls, had a really fun meal. From there we all walked to Central Park in the afternoon. There was a bit of mixed crowd, all the younger guys that I know, and older guys that I didn't really. Went for a walk around sheeps meadow with some of them, and was there till evening and time to go home. Afterwards I did hear of some comments that were made about me having a cellphone on me. I guess that makes sense since I looked like one of the more religious ones there. But i did walk home and not take the subway ;) .

After shabbat I met up with a few of the guys at westside sushi. Of course I was there and waiting, all dressed up in my gay finest lol. Black vneck tshirt with some silver shimmery design on the front and a pair of jeans. Yeah I did get some looks from cute boys walking past me. Absolutely loved the attention (and no i did not have a kippa on). Eventually they showed up and we went in and had something to eat. After all that we headed to Therapy for some boy's birthday parties. Again I had no kippa on and I really had a good time. For once I didn't feel like I stood in the crowd, I was just another gay guy hanging out at a gay club/bar/lounge/whatever.

There was a guy there, who looked at me everytime I went to get a drink at the bar. At one point i went outside for a cigarette and he was there too, as was another of the jewish guys there. This guy was from South Africa and was heading to Vlada, i chose to join him while the guys i'd come with stuck around. He was visiting for a couple of weeks from Cape Town. We had a drink but it turned out he was staying at family in Brooklyn, and I wasn't bringing anyone home so we ended up having a bit of fun at vlada :) While there I could've sworn there was this person taking pictures of me, well of us. Not that I care, but it was just funny, he was with friends and everytime I walked past him, snap, he took a shot. Anyway, after the fun I headed back to therapy to see if all the guys were still there.

On the way back I had just turned the corner onto 9th Avenue, it was around 2am and 2 guys walk past me that i recognized that i'd seen while waiting outside the sushi place. They stop and one of them comes up to me. He says hi, asks me my name. I told him and he told me his. He then asked where I was from and I told him. Then he says to me "I just wanted to tell you that you look hot" and he smiled. I was lost for words, I didn't know what to say. I thanked him, and then continued on my way. He just totally made my day :) i just wish i'd gotten his number, lol. Everyone had left therapy so I went home myself.

The next night was birthday parties round 2. This time at a place called the Greenhouse. The funny thing was we were all outside a bunch gay jewish guys, waiting for a barmitzvah to finish before we could go in. There was an open bar for the first hour, and the usual mixing took place, met some new people, made new friends, saw friends that had managed to evade me all weekend, lol. After drinking and dancing the night away it was time to go.

There, the end of a crazy weekend. I've never felt so gay, and so alive! And for once i'm happy with the way my life is. Got plans for this weekend?

J

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

glad to see you're enjoying your true self!!

Yaakov said...

i agree completely. it sounds like u are basically doing all the things u want to be doing in ur life right now, and that's really cool. and from the way u describe it, lots of other guys are also happy to see u out there :)

David said...

Sounds like a wonderful weekend. I'll save my lecture about smoking for another time.

Jay said...

Oh i definitely am enjoying myself. And david, i can handle anything you throw at me :)

j

Anonymous said...

'fashionable late-gay finest'!!! what a cute expressions!

oh-boy, i dont know whether you WANTED, but you for sure a well DESIRED :)

JM-WANTED & DESIRED!

aww-that is so cool: you the only jewish guy i 'know' who smokes...im soo relieved:there,s atleast one jewish guy in this universe whos a smoker (its not that i make a big deal of that...but it always makes me feel akward hanging with jewish guys who always as a rule dont smoke...was left with the impression its only us the christians who smoke...lol)

take care-n-hav,a fun :)

mpdim

Jeanne said...

Happy that you had a lot of fun, met some new guys and relaxed. Sorry that you felt that taking the kippah off was part of the reason why.
"Absolutely loved the attention (and no i did not have a kippa on). Eventually they showed up and we went in and had something to eat. After all that we headed to Therapy for some boy's birthday parties. Again I had no kippa on and I really had a good time. For once I didn't feel like I stood in the crowd, I was just another gay guy hanging out at a gay club/bar/lounge/whatever."
I know from friends who are in a similar situation how difficult it is to retain part of who you are when you're exploring your identity.
Because you are so young, maybe you don't realize how incredible it is that you can wear a kippah and express your sexuality -- to *any* degree.
I wish there was a way for you to be comfortable all the time with both your heritage and your sexuality.
BTW, I always found guys who wore kippot very sexy...go figure.;~D

Jay said...

Oh mpdim, i smoke socially. Thats all.

And Jeanne, it wasn't so much that taking off the kippa made me feel comfortable, I changed something else in my appearance (that I haven't really blogged about) so taking off the kippa just helped me blend. And I don't need my kippa to look sexy ;)

j

Anonymous said...

re:smoking socially-good-pls try not to get into the habit (i started 'socially' at age 20, and by 22-26 bacame a chain smoker)

re:kippah
absolutelly agree with Jeanne
wearing a kippah is a fulproof guarantee-you'll always look hot :)

mpdim