Sunday, July 20, 2008

Is it really worth it?

I just don't get it. Am i too trusting, or do I just scare people off? Why the hell would someone give you their MSN or AIM if they have no bloody intention to chat with you. There are 2 guys in particular, people i've come clean to. Suddenly thats almost the end of it, well a 99% slowdown. No emails, no messages, no chats, no replies. And they seemed like really nice guys too :( Are hot gay guys really such a-holes? Or is it just me? I'm at a point where I really have to ask myself why I put myself out there, time and time again. Is it really worth it?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jay, it is worth it. We keep trying and we put ourselves out there because we don't want to give up hope. There are good people out there and it is ok to dream that a special man will be there for you.

Your No. 1 fan in Canada.

Jay said...

Well i havent given up hope yet, i'll probably keep on doing what it is i've been doing... but i'm more looking for friends, rather than that special someone to sweep me off my feet ;)

jay

Anonymous said...

why dont you give me a call sometime - "the other anonymous"

JUSTIN said...

Hey...I'll chat with you anytime I'm signed on (my AIM name is on my profile).

Jay said...

Another anynomous, i'm trying to!

thanks justin

Brettcajun said...

Are you the Jay I play Scrabulous with? The one that helps me pad my W/L record? :)

Jay said...

Hey brett, no you don't play scrabulous with me, but if you did, you'd certainly be able to pad your w/l record, lol.

jay

Jen said...

Hey Jay, just found your blog. Hang in there.

Jay said...

Hey Jen,
welcome to the club :)

Anonymous said...

i'm not sure what you mean by "putting yourself out there." you pretend to be someone you're not until you're interested in getting physical with someone. maybe it's time to stop the deception shtick. and why wouldn't these people think that you are the "a-hole" (using your term) for misleading them with a false identity?

Jay said...

Wow anonymous that was harsh. By putting myself out there i mean coming out and showing them the real me. I'm sure they remember what it's like to be young, gay, closeted and scared, and i would hope that they wouldn't hold it against me.

Yes I come out to people for purely selfish reasons. I want to make friends, gay friends, i want to feel more comfortable the way I am and the only way to do that is to be truthful to people. But to say i only come out when i want to get physical with them is a load of bullshit.

But to drop the 'deception shtick' and announce to the world that i'm fucking gay, well i'm not ready for that. I'll come out when i'm ready to and until then i'll continue what i'm doing now. Taking it slowly, and if they can't handle that, well then that's the way it's going to be.

Anonymous said...

the "deception shtick" doesn't involve covering up the fact that you are gay. it's creating an alter ego for yourself who hunts down guys who you think are cute or hot. you interact with these people until, at some later point, you say, "guess what? i'm not who you thought i was. can we still be friends?" hardly anyone uses their real name on the internet, so that's not the problem. problems arise when you speak about your alter ego as a separate person and obsess about how HG number whatever will react when you reveal your true identity to him.