Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The fat lady has sung

This doesn't really fit in with the rest of this post but I can't believe I forgot to write it. After we left Therapy Mr Z took my hand and held it, saying "don't worry, it's a safe block". So I asked if i could kiss him. He stopped, pushed me against the wall of a building and started to kiss me passionately :) . It felt like the most out there thing i'd done in a while, and was something I missed the whole time we hadn't seen each other.

Back to the topic at hand... there's a couple things i wanted to talk about. I can't say I wasn't expecting it, it had to happen sooner or later. There were just too many issues, which is why we broke up the first time around, and since then I guess i just wasn't so into it because the issues were still there. So Mr z and I officially broke up for good, I guess he could just see that we had drifted apart and now it was just sex, which while fun, wasn't what he needed. So we broke up, over facebook chat. I guess I won't be going to fire island with him in the summer, lol. Mmm not sure i would've anyway.

There's a few sites i've been logging on to every now and then, such as manhunt. I don't know why, i'm not exactly going to hook up with some guy from there am I? Yes I like checking out who is online, and chatting to a few people. I have a basic free account meaning i'm limited as to how many profiles I can see in a day and how many messages i can read too. There are a few people that whenever they see i'm online, always message me, and i mean ALWAYS! A couple i've thought yeah he's hot, I might like to hook up with them one day, and there are others that I have no interest in. Another site I joined up was m4m-usa.com. Similar story there, I get a few hits and i wonder what it'd be like. Damn he's cute, too bad I'm not gonna show him the real me :(

The latest site I joined was compatiblepartners.net . It's the gay arm of eharmony.com. Supposedly you fill out this whole long questionaire and they computer match you with other people. They email you the matches they've come up with every day. I've even got a match with someone that I knew, which was interesting. Of course I don't have a pic up, and I use Jay as my name there. But everything I answered in my questionaire was truthful about myself.

Of course nothing is going to come out of any of those sites, because my life is still sort of unstable at the moment for a real relationship (that's assuming I'm looking for one now), and hooking up with someone i met online just feels a bit weird to me. I think i'll continue just going out and meeting people and taking things one day at a time :)



Anonymous said...

Sounds like a sensible conclusion to the story.
If you get an Australian Manhunt profile, you can see as many profiles as you like for free. Unless they have made changes recently. But then again, i haven't logged in for over a month.

Smile and be happy. Hopefully your life will start to stabalize soon :)

Jay said...

I hope so too :) I'm assuming you're Australian?! Cool :)


Anonymous said...

sunshine-believe it or not but i met my (now EX) on m4m4sex.com (its called now m4m-usa.com and i have to tell you thats probably one site that stands out with not only the hotest but also most sensible-inteligent guys. ive stayed with my ex for...over 7 yrs. there are 2 more very dinamic as the m4m you havnt tried yet ;)
and yes hon...real luv do happen on these sites -i am living example


small print -just my biased opinion (perhaps i shouldnt have shared here: breaking with your ex-what r huge disapointment...i wish you guys didnt...i still believe you guys didnt try to irin the slight differences at all...just you guys let it go without 2nd thought...oh sure-my dear Romeo-youll find another Jullian , however every break-up...leaves a mark on you...makes you more mature....more mature=more serious....more serious=older...older=grumpier...just my 2 pennies)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like things turned out as they should...you are certainly getting wise in the decisions you are making.

Sometimes the online stuff can work out fine...don't be too afraid.


Jay said...

Oh i'm sure online stuff can work out, but for now i'm meeting people in real life, and i prefer that :)


Mr. Z said...

This is my first response to "Jay" on his blog, even though I've been reading it regularly, right after we started "dating". Now, it's been officially over for a week, but my head is still spinning about it. And though we agreed to not contact each other, at my insistence, I still can't get him out of my head. All the images of him, things we said and didn't say, all I've read from here & FB postings and all the usual post-relationship mind fodder are all just squatting in my brain.
More embarrassing is that when you take out the month he was working out of town, it was actually only a month! I should not be this obsessed about this?
No, deep down, I knew this would come, the heartbreak. It will fade eventually, but like the post above warned- every breakup leaves a mark, with my 10+ years on "Jay" I have a few more "marks" to compare and process...
Helping that process I'm sure my friends would suggest stop reading his blog and FB posts!

If I'm still feeling lack of closure hope "Jay" will allow me to further post blog responses to the ones related to our time together. (I do have a big stack of responses yet to be typed)
P.S.- Love all the constructive feedback his blog gets, it's heartwarming.

Mr.Z (now that is weird to type!)
P.P.S. (the erased ending) I suppose it's true, that the smart, tall, young and hung are hard to get over, regardless of the length of the relationship. (Another free ego boast! Your welcome:) Will he now post on FB that he's hung and ready? Well, we know the ready part;)

Anonymous said...

...it likely will be hard to just stop communicating or responding (with my ex of 7 yrs...he did stopped emailing me calling me responding to my fb posts on his page...however...i cant...its been ongoing already for a year...after all i cant just erase 7 yrs of my life....we re very good friends...and well after a year i still bug him with random calls, fb posts on his wall..and lenghty emails...


p.s. and yeah...Jay it wold hav been nice if yo were in jerusalem right now...it soo sucks travelling alone :(

Jay said...

Hey there Mr Z, feel free to keep on writing and commenting :)