Sunday, July 20, 2014

Life is what you make of it, but I don't know what to make of these...

Thinking back over the past weeks and months i've met some people that really have done my head in. I've talked about one guy already, the one who didn't know what he wanted and changed his mind every 5 seconds. Anyway, we basically settled on staying friends. Which seemed to be fine, until he went dark. At one point he wanted to have dinner with me and then the next he just completely stopped replying to all my texts. Weeks of nothing and then suddenly it's started up again, very slowly. I get the odd snapchat (g rated) from him and I may reply and that's about it. I don't know what the hell that is all about.

Then there was guy #2. We 'met' on scruff. Chatting and texting constantly. Eventually we caught up, meaning I went over to his place and had a couple drinks, finally chatting face to face. Well one thing lead to another, as it always does and we fooled around after which I went home. The next morning I sent him a text thanking him for a fun night. His reply? "No good :(" Not sure what the fuck that was supposed to mean. Certainly it wasn't a positive one. I replied with I think an ok, got it. Or something like that, actually disappointed. Eventually he texted me an apologised as that message wasn't meant for me. Really? WTF. He called, very apologetic about the whole thing, insisted that he had fun and did want to catch up again. Ok he convinced me.

The usual thing happens, lots of texts, chatting away. One day we made more plans. It was firm in that we were doing something, but hadn't finalised what we were going to do. He finishes work at 9. Of course I don't hear another word, until after midnight. He wants me to come over. Um no, so much for finishing work at 9? Oh he finished later and then went out for drinks with colleagues from work. Of course I don't hear from him for a while (like a few weeks) and I think back to when he had to convince me that he really did want to see me again. And I wonder if that was really true... He apologised for being a bad friend and I think things might be back to normal.

I got some travel under my belt, came back a few weeks later and texted him. The response? "Who is this? lol". I guess he didn't save my number, and deleted our message history. Just wonderful. He tried to guess who I was, and was not even in the ball park. After a few clues he figured out who I was, but still didn't remember what my name was. I had thought he was a nice guy, but there's only so many times you'll accept an apology before giving up on someone. And I think i've reached that point now.

Onto guy #3. This was a guy from the gym. I tend to be a more shy and reserved kinda guy. I don't normally approach random guys, i'm not forward in the slightest. But there was this guy, quite attractive and whenever he saw me at the gym he checked me out. That was it. Eventually I began doing the same. Like I'd go to the gym and hope to see him there. One day as I was leaving he saw me and stopped his workout and just looked. I smiled and stupid me instead of actually turning around and going up to him I continued walking out. I was so annoyed with myself, so the next time I saw him I made sure to go up to him and have a chat. I never ever do that so finally I grew some balls.

We had a nice chat at the gym and I was gonna head off so I asked for his number. And he wouldn't give it to me. Or he said he couldn't. It was a work phone and with the work that he did he wasn't allowed to give his number out. Weird I know but I was ok with that and gave him my own number. Of course I had no way to reach him so either I would see him at the gym next or I'd get a phone call. Waiting and waiting and waiting. He called me 3 loooooong days later. Obviously we live in the modern world and i'm used to being able to contact someone I want to instantly. Heck, i'm even used to contacting people I don't like instantly, can you imagine how crazy I must've been going waiting for this phone call?

I had posted a couple questions on facebook about him. Is it normal for someone not to be able to give you their number because they only have a work phone? Responses ranged from 'yes' to 'no he just didn't want to give you his number' and 'just likes the chase'. The next question was how long is normal to expect contact from someone you gave your number to. Most were along the lines of 1-2 days max. I told him what my friends thought of him lol. I saw him at the gym that night and I pushed him on a few things. How about an app on his phone that I can message him on? No not grindr, there are messaging apps out there, he wouldn't have to give me his number but I could message him when I wanted and so could he.

I also asked him how his friends ever contact him. Do they send an email and hope for a quick reply? I pushed on some other things as well. At what point does someone get his number? Dating? In a relationship? move in together? Marriage? It was mostly in jest but I think the whole 'I can't give you my number' is a bit weird. Saw him again at the gym the following night, had a bit of a chat. And then the next morning I get a phone call from a blocked number. Yep it's him. He thinks he's going to get a personal mobile phone. And he thinks we should stay friends. He thinks i'm funny and a cool guy to be around but he's not looking for a relationship and he believes I am. He would love to hang out, be friends, maybe work out together, that's it. He'd like to introduce me to one of his friends (still not sure if i'm supposed to be friends with this other guy or i'm supposed to date him). I was a bit lost for words.

We hadn't dated, we've barely had a few conversations, 2 of those were just mid workout at the gym. What kind of crap was that? Yeah I know I may have pushed him a bit but thats just bullshit. Obviously being comfortable and friendly with each other is important, but i'd be open to seeing where things go. I wasn't saying we're going to get married, but who closes things off before you've even started? No-one spends a few weeks checking someone out at the gym and thinks "i'd like to be his friend".

That's where we currently are and that's what i'm going to tell him next time I see him. As for being his friend, I just don't know. I have no problems making friends, and the more friends the merrier. But this whole thing has just pissed me off.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hey Jay!
I accidentally came across this blog this afternoon, n am hooked to it..

man, things r d same everywhere, n I m from some interior part f India! for gays, everyone's an option! always looking for a better one!