NSA this, NSA that. You see these 3 letters everywhere. No strings attached. No-one wants anything more than NSA. But why is that? What's wrong with the usual mates, dates, possibly relationship? For starters it's so easy, you go online or load the app and you can pretty much find something that tickles your fancy.
I think there's another reason why guys might follow that path. As a wise man once said (on his grindr profile no less) Gays are cunts. As simple as that. Why go through all the effort of becoming mates with someone that may lead to FWB, or date someone, if you can get what you're looking for without it all? Not saying that a shag is the end game but it's certainly part of it. A physical relationship without having to deal with all the crap that comes from the other stuff.
I've got a couple of experiences that lead me to agree with the gays are cunts slogan. Not that I didn't know some gays were cunts, but I didn't expect it from these guys.
One was a friend. Someone i'd considered a good friend, used to hang out quite a lot. Back in January I had tickets to the Australian Open tennis and asked if he wanted to join me. Midnight the night before he cancels on me, because he couldn't be bothered going. I let it go, but not like I was going to find someone else to join me at the last minute, and trust me I tried. Even people who were just acquaintances rather than friends. But if you get a call Sunday morning saying I have a spare ticket for today, most people already have their weekend planned. Since then i've tried numerous times, suggesting we go out for drinks and I get no response. I don't know what i've done but we've just really grown apart. I attempted to reconnect last week and at least I got a response. I'm leaving the ball in his court. I haven't seen him in 6 months and i'm certainly not holding my breath.
Case #2. I recently started dating someone. It's only been 3 dates so far. First attempt we were trying to organise a day to meet for drinks and I suggested the following Sunday and he said 'we'd play it by ear'. I joked with him if that meant depending on whether he got a better offer. But maybe there was some truth to it. That Sunday didn't work out but we did organise another day. We got along well, he was certainly interested in date 2. Date 2 came and went and at the end he brought up date 3. He suggested either the following Thursday or the weekend as it was a long weekend. Sounded good to me, but Thursday didn't happen so I asked about the weekend and he said he wasn't sure about his weekend plans but we'd play it by ear. Suffice to say it didn't happen that weekend either.
Eventually we got date 3 done - a movie this time. As I dropped him home we talked about #4. That upcoming weekend. He had something on the Saturday and didn't want to have a big day on Sunday so we decided on Friday. A couple days later I messaged him to finalise plans for Friday and said he wasn't sure about Friday and might have to change it to Sunday. Thats where we are now. I enjoy spending time with him and we get along well, but I can't help but feel like i'm consistently being blown off. He either changes the date when we'd planned to meet, or won't confirm anything until close to it as it depends on his other plans even though he was the one who had suggested it in the first place.
I certainly don't think I need to be the #1 priority in his life, but it's almost like i'm his backup plan, and if something else comes up he'll reschedule on me. Am I being too sensitive? Am I being a dick? Or are gays cunts? Surely it's not just me. Or is it?
35 minutes ago