I may sound like a whiny bitch, but life can sometimes be a struggle. Not sure if it's worse in the gay world but it sure feels like it. With everything going on, I thought I really need to meet some new people. I need to make some real friends. Real gay friends. I didn't think it was too much to ask, this post will recount some experiences i've had over the past 10 months or so that just make me question everything.
A couple were friends that I just expected more from. In Judaism after someone passes away the initial mourning period is called the shiva and lasts for 7 days. Traditionally during the shiva family members gather in one home and receive visitors (thanks Wikipedia). I guess there were some people I expected to see during the shiva. Some of those did visit and it was very much appreciated. Some (well one) told me he would come and I fully expected to see him. Only he never showed and it was dissappointing. Maybe I just expected more from someone who is Jewish because he knows what it's all about.
Another friend wanted to hang out and it was just bad timing, so i told him to try me in a week or 2 i'd be up for it. I next heard from him 6 months later. Maybe i'm being too critical, but these are people I just expected more from. They were considered my friends!
The rest I don't know what I expected. Gays in Melbourne who happen to be assholes probably outnumber the normal ones. The first guy was from Grindr. I told him i wasn't in the mood to date but looking to make friends. We made plans to meet up and and in the process of chatting it became clear that he still was looking to date, but willing not to call this a date. On further discussion when he finally got that I didn't want to date, he decided he couldn't be friends with me either. Whatever...
Onto the next one - this time a guy from manhunt. We'd been chatting a while and decided to meet for a drink. We set the date but not time or place. I'd given him my number but never got his. On the day we were supposed to meet I messaged him online and he replied that he was at a mate's place and when he got home he'd be in touch and we'd confirm everything. That was the last time I heard from him. He dissappeared for about a month, then reappeared all apologetic about what happened. Had some stuff going on, ok fine lets try again. Made plans the next week. Same thing happened, just dissappeared off the face of the earth.
The next one was from Scruff. Chatting for a couple weeks, eventually became facebook friends. As soon as I mention the possibility of meeting for a drink. Boom, radio silence. The next guy - can't remember how we first contacted each other but made plans to meet for drinks. Of course the day of the said planned meeting I message him to confirm that we're still on. No response. I gave him a few hours before messaging again. Still no response. I called, no answer. Figured this wasn't going to happen, so instead of heading towards where we were going to meet after work, I headed home. Later that night he called and made some lame excuse. Whatever, and then he gave me grief when I wasn't so excited about trying again.
Who should we pick on next? Ah yes. This guy first chatted on manhunt, then grindr, chatting for a while, made plans to meet for a drink. The day of, he messaged that he had to cancel. Very apologetic, he said it was unlike him, he wasn't the kind of guy that cancels at the last minute. He was definitely interested in meeting up with me and would reschedule. I'm sure you know how that ended. Messages never got replies. Mr 'I don't cancel on people at the last minute and really want to meet you' became 'Mr i'm going to ignore you'.
What the fucking fuck? Is it just guys in this city? Is it just gay guys in general? Where are the nice guys and why can't I find them? I'd like to think i'm one of the nice guys, but maybe we're all just assholes. Surely it can't be this hard for straights.
I'm not always such a complainer. Next posts will have some positive results :)
1 hour ago