Monday, September 27, 2010

Why I love Grindr (and no it's not what you're thinking)

I can't believe it's been about 5 weeks since I last posted, I really need to work on this! This post is about why I love grindr, but also why sometimes I hate it.

One of the big differences i've found between living in New York and living in Melbourne is the social scene. Of course when everyone asks me how the social scene is here they mean the dating scene (i.e. girls). Been there, done that. I'm talking about friends. Straight, gay, jewish, not-jewish. I loved New York because of the amazing social scene. I had a lot of gay jewish friends. Here, not so much. Less jews = less gay jews. And the gay jews that are here, well i just don't really mix with them, which isn't really a big deal. It just meant I had to spread my wings a little. And spread my wings I did. There were alot of online introductions, through facebook, manhunt and gaydar. Yes I know that most people think of manhunt as a place to hookup and gaydar I think is more of a place to find dates but i used them, successfully, for other purposes. I was looking for friends, and anything extra was a bonus.


I went through the paces, chatting, meeting for a drink, etc. I met some really good friends on manhunt, and my social life seems to revolve around a close few friends - a couple gay guys I met on manhunt and an old straight friend from school. Well it seemed to revolve around these few, but all that is changing. One has moved overseas, one is moving overseas in the next couple of months to live and the 3rd has his visa approved ready to move overseas for a year or 2. Which means pretty soon my close social circle of 4 will become a social circle of 1.


Obviously I'd be wanting to make some new friends. Manhunt isn't bad, but i've lost count the number of times I've been chatting to someone and brought up meeting for a drink. Thats when I hear that when their profile says 'Melbourne' it means Lilydale, or Greensborough or some other outer suburb. Aka woop woop (for you non Aussies you might want to google that term). I live in the inner suburbs and travelling 45+ minutes to meet up with someone for a drink or anything else is just nuts.


And thats why I like grindr. The people you chat to are people that are nearby. They're sorted in order of distance, and they could be a s little as 50 or 100 metres away (give or take a margin of error). It's certainly known for it's 'hookup' abilities, but there's more than enough guys using it for other purposes. I've met some nice normal people on there, add them to those I meet using facebook and I suddenly have a social life again!




Of course there is a downside to it. Because of the whole instant nature of it all I think people take it less seriously. You'll make plans with someone on there, and something else comes up and they'll raincheck you. After all, you'll always be there, it was only a 'grindr meet' after all, whether that means a drink, a shag, whatever. So grindr can suck after all, or maybe it's just the people that use grindr.


J