The date from hell... that wasn't

Just so we're clear, it wasn't a date. Now that's out of the way I can begin.

A guy messages me on gaydar, and of course we start chatting a bit. As you know i'm keen to meet new people and make new friends, so why not. He lived in the northern suburbs but one weekend he told me he was going to be near where I live, so we made plans to meet. I suggested a drink, he said how about coffee? And coffee it was to be.

We planned to meet at Chocolateria San Churro which is best described as a chain of chocolate cafes, which in addition to the usual cafe fare they have Spanish hot chocolate and churros, I've loved churros ever since I first had then in Buenos Aires. There is one on Chapel St which is close by.

Well I got there, and the place was packed, and he was sitting on a bench nearby so we got a table outside. I had a hot chocolate, he didn't want anything. We this is going to go great I thought. He was honestly one of the rudest people i've ever met. For starters he cruised every single cute guy that walked past. Actually, make that every guy. He didn't just check them out, he literally stared at them. Literally turning his head as they walked by. I mean really?!

Things didn't get better at all. He was an Aussie but of French/Palestinian heritage and had lived both in France and Gaza for many years. He was wearing one of the Yasser Araft teatowels as a scarf, lol. I didn't tell him I was Jewish, I figured he might press the detonator.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not a racist person. I'm generally a very friendly person and get along well with most people. But this guy was just an asshole. Apparently he doesn't get on with anglos well because all they do is drink and think about where their next drink will be. He gets along more with people from a similar background to him. He also said he didn't have many friends and then told me about one of his good friends he'd planned on meeting up with but they had to cancel. Then it turned out this friend was a cousin.

One of the great quotes of the night was that he would only become friends with a) people he could have an intelligent conversation with (which is a bit overboard but whatever) and b) people that were open to his political views and beliefs. Within 15 minutes of meeting him he'd already told me his thoughts on September 11, the wars on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan, and that Israel was killing all the Palestinians. He worked in pharmaceuticals so I'm sure he had something to do with chemical weapons R&D, lol.

I was dying to get out of there (lest he detonate, lol) it was just too awkward. Any conversation between us was started by me, otherwise we would've sat in silence. After almost an hour I figured enough was enough, and we went our separate ways. And he wonders why he has no friends....

Had it been a date, I would've called it the date from hell. Alas it was just a random stranger from gaydar who probably will never have any friends unless his social skills improve immensely. The moral of the story is to try to be more picky when it comes to meeting random people for a bevvy. Or just chat more before you decide to meet. And maybe stick to people on this side of the river :) I'm glad though in further blog posts things have improved immensely.

Jay

God save the queens

Well the time had arrived for my next overseas jaunt. This time to London. It had come sooner than expected, only about 4 months after i'd returned from my previous trip, but when one of your best friends gets married, how can you not go? It was going to be a fairly quick trip. Quick in the that it was taking me over 24 hours to fly each way, yet I was only staying for 8 days.

I used miles for the trip and flew in business class, which was a hoot :) Nothing like actually getting some decent sleep on board, plus decent food and wines (and champagne!). The only problem is how will I ever fly in economy ever again?!

As is per usual, I packed like I was going overseas for a month, not just a week. You never know when you might need all those items of clothing, and it's London at the end of spring. It could be warm, it could be cold, it could be rainy, it could be a heatwave, it could be a blizzard. Well maybe i'm getting carried away but I think I had 6 or 7 pairs of shoes with me. Told you I overpack.

Anyway, the day had arrived. I finished work, finished packing and then it was airport time. Another reason I love travelling in business class is there's less hassle. Faster checkin, faster immigration (sometimes), faster baggage on arrival, and you can chillax in the lounge, which is exactly where I went after check in. As one does, I got a glass of wine and checked out grindr. Got chatting to a guy who was in a different lounge. I was flying to Bangkok and he to Hong Kong.

Eventually they called for boarding and off we went. A nice 4 course meal was served, and then a nice long sleep before arriving into Bangkok. I had a decent amount of connection time so I was able to check out the lounges (and have a very welcome shower) and the spa. Had an awesome neck and shoulder massage, complimentary because i'm a VIP (or maybe just I was flying in business class). The next flight was more of the same and what felt like an eternity later we finally landed in Heathrow. It actually was like an eternity because it was almost 30 hours from departure to landing.

From the time I landed I was constantly on the go. A girl at work had lived in London for 10 years so she gave me a list of places to go to (she also told me drugs were cheap in London if I was into that kind of stuff lol). I got to my hotel and told me the groom's family were waiting for me at a nearby restaurant. With the bucks party, wedding related events and meals both pre and post-wedding, meeting a long lost relative for dinner one night, time was of the essence. I toured during the day, meeting up with friends, checking out some sights. I was walking along Saville Row one afternoon and popped into the Ben Sherman store. As I walked out there was a parking inspector outside, who asked me if I owned the Bentley parked there. I wish!

I even went on a bar crawl through Soho (albeit during an afternoon). A mate of mine is a bartender there so knows his way around :) Getting pissed during the day wasn't intentional, but gladly it sort of wore off by the time I went to a dinner party that night. I also saw the show Legally Blonde at the Savoy theatre with a friend and really enjoyed it. We were going to see Lord of the Flies at the open air theatre but the only day with bad weather nixed that plan. 

Unfortunately the fun had to end eventually and I left, determined to visit again someday.

Now that's over, I can stop writing posts where I did this and this and that and move onto more serious things :)

Catch ya later

We're all living in Amerika, Amerika ist wunderbar

Hi,

I have no idea how many posts this will take, but it's about time I posted about my 'recent' trip to the US. It's not exactly so recent any more, but no better time like the present. Especially since i fly out on another trip in 3 days!

So where do we begin... getting on a plane in Melbourne, to fly to Sydney, to fly to San Francisco where i got felt up by the TSA. That was great. I could've gotten the same thing done to me by some guy on Manhunt and gotten paid for it! Welcome to the USA. Well the next flight was better, especially with free wifi for 5.5 hours. But really what is there to do, even with wifi? Email, facebook, grindr, facebook, grindr, email, grindr, facebook. I followed my flight tried to get some sleep to. It was actually fun using grindr because the wifi signal had me at SFO, so people would message me things like "I'm at the Hyatt SFO, where are you?" And my reply would be something like "I'm in a plane somewhere over Nebraska :)"

I had 2.5 weeks in NYC and other than a few set things i didn't make major plans. I had a friend's wedding to attend (that was the major reason for the trip), i had family to visit, friends to see from when I was living over there a year earlier. It was gonna be great!

I rented a car and drove to a friend's place in manhattan where i was crashing during my stay. Another reason I rented a car because i'd planned on spending the next day shopping at an outlet mall. And shop i did, filling up the trunk of my car! I'd gotten a sim card so my iphone would work, alas it didn't. Gotta sort this out, but have no time!

I had a JQY meeting that night, which was perfect timing, seeing all my old friends was great! Of course afterwards was the obligatory drinks at the Candlebar, and meeting up with those straight people who don't attend JQY stuff.

It was a great night but I needed to get home so I could pack a small bag as I was heading to Boston for the weekend. A friend of mine was in college up there so thought it'd be great to head up and see him. and what fun we had, i took the boltbus up, and ended up sitting next to a jewish italian chick who was freaking hilarious. At the stop she called her mum to tell her all about the gay jewish aussie she'd met :)

Boston was a blast. Dinner at the Paramount, drinks at the beehive with a bunch of his friends, back to his place at Louisberg square to sleep (yes to sleep!), brunch at the Beacon Hill Hotel, ice skating at the Frog Pond, and then back to the station for the bus ride home. And met a cool guy in Rhode Island on grindr, but that's another story. 

I made some plans to meet up with a random facebook friend that night for a drink but i screwed that up. Train took longer than I planned and by the time I got there he'd gone and my phone still wasn't working so had no way to let him know. I ended up at Starbucks and chilled with a cappucino before making the ride back home. 

I got home and at 2am the neighbours decided it was time to party. I know it's saturday night but really?!? I updated my facebook status "so the neighbours are having a party at 2am. Is it some dominican or puerto rican holiday or something?" Well of course it was as I was informed soon after that if they are Mexican or Hispanic origin that day was the feast of our Lady of Guadalupe. Not like i need sleep anyway.

The next day was a hectic day, shopping, meeting my jewish african american friend for dinner (mu mum loves her, lol) and then off clubbing. First Griffin, and when that finished, off with a bunch of randoms to Greenhouse. Love Sundays in NYC :) and made it back at about 6am.

The next day was a trip to Looooooooong Island to visit some family. Great to see them but it went so quick it felt like it was over before it started. Of course the rest of the week meant lots of shopping, and visiting starbucks for their wifi because my phone still wasn't working! Argh! So annoying. And of course meeting up with friends for either a coffee, or dinner. At the end of the week it was time for the bucks party (or bachelors party as american's call it) which was fun and not too crazy. I met a friend for drinks at the Stonewall Inn and went with another one to Duplex to see a show which was hilarious. I went to a friend's birthday party at Plunge at the Gansevoort Hotel which was really cool.

Of course then was the wedding which was great. It was in Jersey, and that was really the main reason for my trip, with all the parties involved with the wedding, from shabbat before, meals, kiddushim and then the wedding. Was really glad i went. Of course then my mate's wife want to hang out with me and get to know me because she has a bunch of single friends. I told him to tell the bad news that i wouldn't be interested.

I was busy being a bit of a foodie, lots of food, eating at restaurants, even some kosher ones ;) exploring the city, the obligatory visit to Splash one night, how could i not! It was Twink Tuesdays, lol. The next night was another barhop with another friend i used to hang with. Wednesday nights always began at the Phoenix, then pizza at Artichoke (can't remmber the exact name but it was good!) And ended the night at boxers for a nightcap. Didn't want too late a night as the next day was a busy day so made it back home at a bout 3am-ish.

The next night was one big party i'd planned on attending - The Jewbillee - which was a gay jewish xmas eve party being held at Slate. Well it wasn't quite on Xmas eve because that ended up being on a Friday, so the party was on a thursday which mean everyone could come :) One of my random fb friends from Oz was visiting and asked if i was attending the party. Hell yeah i was! And so was he, so we made plans to finally meet up. The party was great, met up with a bunch of other friends I hadn't seen yet, and some other facebook randoms. And then my hot Aussie friend showed up. We drank, we danced, ended up pashing on the dancefloor. I'm bad, really bad. Though another of my friends did congratulate me on sealing the deal. Umm that's not quite sealing the deal, and no I won't be elaborating on that ;)

My last few days were to be spent on Long Island with family before heading to JFK just before the big blizzard was supposed to arrive. Of course time with family means a discussion on homosexuality and being questioned about my refusal to see a psychologist who could 'fix' my 'problem'. FML.

The day of my departure it started snowing in the morning, it hadn't snowed once the entire time I was there. I was scheduled on one of the last flights out of there. Sitting onboard, listening to air traffic control (united channel 9, love it), we deiced, taxied to the runway, only for it to be closed so it could be plowed, headed back to the gate for de-icing again. But eventually with the weather getting worse they cancelled the flight and the airport shut down. Well that was great, what happens now? I went back to checkin to get rebooked. With all the cancellations the earliest I could be rebooked was for a week later. Glad travel insurance came in handy, as they covered my accomodation and meal expenses for the rest of the week.

So no more staying with friends and family, time for a hotel. Once it stopped snowing I realised i needed boots. So of course I went shopping! Found some hot blue gumboots, just what frosty the snowman ordered.
I was there for a week and could do as I pleased. I played good samaritan one night when my Aussie friend (aka pasher on the dancefloor) got locked out of the place he was staying and offered up half my bed, yes i'm a gentleman.

Of course I did more shopping, as if my suitcases weren't full enough already. I went to Bryant Park and the stalls there (the hot apple cider really hit the spot). after a few days on the east side I decided to move to Chelsea. Just because I could. And of course now I could attend all the things I was going to miss out on had I not been stuck the extra week. A great friday night dinner in Washington Heights with some friends, the obligatory brunch at Intermezzo in Chelsea, dinner at Elmo, and a post NYE party where I had to wear something that sparkles. Not having my club gear with me I decided on some glitter. It must've worked wonders as the girl in the elevator with me asked if I was also going to the Phish concert. Nope. The Party was fun, then onto Therapy for another birthday party and lots of drinking and then back home.

A good nights sleep with my last minute packing and getting upgraded to business class for the 20+ hour trip home. Life is great :)

What on earth do these people think?!?

People are funny. I'm amazed what comes up in conversation with others when we're discussing the whole homosexuality thing. Things that are told to me about gay people that are supposedly facts.

I had a huge discussion with a sibling and the stuff that came out of his mouth... wow. I don't know what else to say. Besides the usual crap such as the whole point of life is to get married and have kids, i learnt all these new things about gay people, such as: Men turn gay in prison since they hang around other men too long and shag them. Gay people have thousands of sexual partners (maybe he had stumbled onto my little black book ;) ) I mean really?! That's like 3 different partners a week for your entire life! Although in the past he has informed me that gays have a life expectancy of 42 years (catholic websites are great for something), so given our lives are so short, we have to fit the thousands of sexual partners in a shorter amount of time. No wonder i'm so tired at work!

Another gem was that the norm amongst gay people is to have an open relationship. Yes, because we don't have stable relationships, we sleep around. I'm not saying open relationships don't exist, and maybe it's more prevalent in the homosexual community than the heterosexual community (and i might be totally wrong there) but thats the norm?!? Jesus fucking christ. It seems i'm wasting my breath even having a basic discussion with them on this issue because they're so ignorant. Bloody religious nuts.

And i've saved the best for last. Apparently they wanted me to meet with a homeopath, to see if this person could help with my 'problem'. What on earth made him think a homepath could change me? Well he'd been to a homeopath for some other treatment so why could a homepath try to work on this? And the kicker was, i didn't even need to tell the homopath I was gay, just to meet him and see if he could figure it out himself. I love games, but this was ridiculous!

The fact of the matter is, as far as i'm concerned anyone who claims they can 'fix' me, is nothing but a

Until next time, have a great week.
J

Well hello there stranger!

I cannot believe it has been 2 nearly 3 months since I last posted. It hasn't been so much a planned hiatus, i've just been extremely busy, with summer holidays and work and blogging just keeps on being pushed back. Today is Valentines Day, the day where people shower with their significant other with flowers and gifts (if you're lucky). Or if you're single you get nothing, but you have to read through all the bloody facebook posts of your friends who got stuff - yeah you with the huge box of maltesers, i'm talking to you.

Today is also National Condom Day. So just a reminder to all of you, play, but play safely. And get tested regularly because you can never be too careful. I'm sure you're expecting me to regale you with a story of how I hooked up with some random guy, and then found a bottle of pills at his place and thinking he had something and consulting Dr Google and getting all worried and getting tested and finding out I did have something minor that needed to get treated and needed some antibiotics but i was out of town for work and to find a doctor or clinic that could see me and prescribe something was hell on earth. But I won't.

So happy valentines day :)

It gets better - the gay orthodox jew version

Hi,

It's been a while since i've posted and i'll do a longer post soon but i wanted to post this video, starring some of my friends back in New York. It was part of the 'It Gets Better' project started by Dan Savage in response to the spate of suicides of young gay kids in the US.





For more information on The Trevor Project visit www.thetrevorproject.org

Catch ya later!

Single? Dating? Relationship? My priorities, or lack thereoff

For once lets talk about something serious. I'm currently single, and have been since I broke up with Mr Z over a year ago. It's been fun, but life wasn't means to be lived as a bachelor. I always thought that when the time came to get serious and actually start dating i'd want to date someone Jewish. It just made a lot of sense, someone with a similar background would quite possibly click better than someone who wasn't. It's also mean we probably shared important things, e.g. Jewish holidays or whatever.

Of course before we even get to that point some things need to change. For example my living situation. It's been good while it lasted, but now that I know i'm sticking around this city and not transferring elsewhere for work or anything, it's time to move out. Of course the question is where and with who? Gay or straight? Male or female? There was the idea of moving in with a friend whose roommate moved out, but that didn't work out, so it's time to start searching.

But getting back to the topic at hand. Dating someone jewish. It's certainly alot harder than it sounds. I know plenty of gay jews, just not many living in this city (or country for that matter). A relatively small jewish population means a relatively small gay jewish population. There are of course a bunch in the closet too. There's a jewish gay group called Aleph (and also one called young aleph) but to be honest I don't have much to do with them.

I mix with a different crowd. I tend to hang out with non jewish gay guys, and therefore I have more non jewish gay friends here than jewish ones (well thats not really hard because i barely have any jewish ones). So it only makes sense that it would lead to something more. I've held myself back from 'dating' any, and from the start i let people know i'm looking for mates but not dates, but i'm considering changing that.

Not that anyone I date will necessary be a long term proposal, and i know this sounds weird but i'd like to get some experience under my belt. And if things go well, well good for me :) I know how i'd like things to end up if I lived in an ideal world but I don't live in ideal world. I live in the real world and I think I need to make the best of the situation i find myself in.

Am I taking things a step too far? I'd love to know what you think.
J