Nice ad

It's an old one, but funny, yet cute, with a serious message, and i love the song too!




And it's connected to what I want to write about! Safe sex. A hot topic, at least in my mind ;)

Of course safe sex is all most people talk about. Use a condom! Most people have told me to make sure i use a condom when i get laid. which makes sense and i'm not stupid, not gonna whore myself out to the world and play dangerously, lol. Obviously if you're in a committed relationship and you're both clean, then one could do it bareback.

But it's something i think i'd like to try. I asked 1 of the guys i plan on playing with, he said he only plays safe. But i asked him about bareback, and he said that he's clean (got tested recently cos he did some medical) but he'd leave it up to me. On one hand we've gotten so close, and there's so much personal stuff that he's told me about that he hasn't told his closest friends. I trust him, i really do. Obviously i'd have to come to terms with all the what ifs, but it's definitely something i'm considering.

No-one told me to go for it. Some said never play bareback with someone you don't really know. Others said said only if i feel comfortable with it. I guess like with everything i'll have to wait and see.

Jay

My 'type'?!?

I've been asked numerous times what my type is. I wasn't sure i had a type. I like hot guys, lol. Can that be a type? Since i don't date at all, i can't tell you about the type of guys i've dated. What about the porn i download you may ask? Well i usually start off with the most seeded files and look at the pics of the certain video. If the pics do it for me then good, otherwise i'll skip it. So there tends to be a selection of short movies of the corbin fisher/sean cody/chaos men type, plus a selection of longer movies with a 'storyline' (yeah if porn can have a storyline!). Category wise, i first go thru jocks and hunks and then move on to others.

One thing i've noticed however is with the guys i'm really into. Guys i've chatted with and gotten quite close with almost to the point of falling for them. They always seem to be in their mid-30s. And they all happen to be in relationships. And they all at some point have some relationship problems. Now what the hell is up with that? Breaking up, getting back together, "why doesn't he listen to me? Why is he so inconsiderate? I hate him!" I seriously don't know why i'm so into these guys. And it's not like i hear they're in a relationship and then i'm into them, it's always the ones i fall for that turn out to be taken, or semi taken, or sort of broken up but getting back together, or wanting to break up. it's crazy! I'm glad they feel comfortable enough that they can open up to me, but really what advice can they expect from me? I'm Mr 'closested and never been in a relationship'. This last guy i've been chatting to is in the middle of a longish relationship, like 5+ years. He says the first year was great, but the rest have sucked. I so want to tell him that he should've dumped the guy years ago if he's such a bastard. But is it my place to criticise or give him such 'practical' advice.

At least one of them is going to read this and i wonder how mad he'll be at me. My first guy. The first guy i fell for. The first guy i did lots of things with. I was so into him that when i heard he was having issues i thought maybe they'd break up so i could have him. Yeah like i had a chance, lol. Another guy has no clue how into him i am. But he's not single either. We're in contact every now and then which is fun :)

Wait another thing that turns me on is hair. I really get into guys with short trimmed beards or other facial hair. Thats a real turn on. That and chest hair. Again, not too much, just enough to be really hot! Lol, maybe i should include some pics. So here are some. Enjoy. (the last one is another hottie :) )






I think i should post pics more often! Thanks to Someinatree for the pics!

Jay

Wow! What a response!

Given the huge response to my last post, i decided to come up with my own stuff to write about.

I had a dream yesterday. I was supposed to be starring in a porno. Until the director saw me with no clothes on. No washboard stomach. No abs. And i got cut from the film. No big loss, i mean do i really want my fat ass plastered all over websites? Well yeah if it looked like some porn star with a great body! Nah I think porn is definitely not for me, only watching it, and dreaming about starring in it.

Another topic for tonight is getting caught. I think i posted before that i've been doing quite alot of things I shouldn't be doing. Well from a jewish religious perspective. Besides the usual jacking off, watching porn, cyber sex stuff, i think i've mentioned before i've been doing other things too, like breaking the sabbath and jewish holidays. As long as I don't get caught, then things are ok. If i get caught, well all hell breaks loose. When i do this it's usually i'm online in my room, chatting, blogging, watching tv shows or porn, or text messaging from my phone. It has happened once that I woke up about 6am one sabbath morning, before anyone had woken up and my laptop was still on my bed from the night before, still on. I must've fallen asleep like that. I'm so glad i managed to get rid of it before someone else saw it there. But this week on rosh hashana, a similar thing happened. I was woken up by someone opening my door. Thank god they didn't walk in because my laptop was on my bed again with my cellphone. It was closed and off, but still a very compromising position, and one that i wouldnt have been able to wiggle myself out of.

Lastly i want to talk about marriage. Other people's marriages for once, not my own. One of my sisters recently got married. The wedding was amazing! But it hit me on what it is i'm going to be missing out on. Family and friends celebrating something special. It's one thing i don't think i'm going to get to experience. And it upsets me. I have no idea how anyone will react to me being gay. Will family or friends reject me? Will i miss out on seeing my nephews, nieces and cousins growing up? And there's nothing i can do about it.

I also feel like i've lost my best friend. Out of all my siblings she was the one i was closest to. If she had any questions, she'd usually ask me for advice. Dating advice, work advice, how to ask her boss for a raise, clothing and fashion advice - what to buy, what outfit to wear, what shoes look better, lol. I'd often meet her at her office and go out for lunch. We were really close. Well we are still are really close, and he husband is a really nice guy and i'm very happy for them. But i miss her. He is now her confidant. She hangs out with him, rather than with me. It's like i've lost the one thing closest to me.

Enough writing for now, have a great day/evening/night
jay

Yay! I'm famous!

Well not really. I got quoted in another blog, which i never expected to happen... ever. But it's a private blog, so none from my reader's will be able to see it. Oh well.

Nothing new happening here. Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year) is coming up this week, which comes with lots of food and family meals (yay) and mandatory synagogue attendance (oy vey). Other than that my life is quite boring, lol.

I want to ask you all a question. What would you like me to blog about? I'll leave it up to you :)

J

Secret crushes

Sorry about the lack of posts, i've been extremely busy recently. Just a quickie here. According to my sister, her hairstylist has a secret crush on me. He's straight, supposedly. And has a girlfriend. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I'm quite flattered to be honest. I also think it's hilarious, lol. The more the merrier i say :)

I'm a stalker! lol

hey all,

I gotta start by saying that I consider myself very tech savvy. Computers, the internet, electronics, the works! I was chatting online with one of my 'friends' i intend to meet up with soon hopefully. I knew what city he lived in so while i was chatting i looked him up on whitepages.com . I found his address and phone number, i google mapped him, and checked out his apartment building on streetview. I told him i did it, and he got all freaked out. Like i was spying on him, lol. He couldn't believe that his address and phone number were online. Hello?!? Like him and 300 million other americans! Was what i did so bad? I have no idea. I think it's hilarious!

jay

Problems, problems everywhere

Um hey,

I don't know why exactly i'm writing this but i needed to say something to someone, yet i'm embarrassed to tell people i know, so i thought i'd post here, it still feels a bit anonymous, lol.

Alot has been going on in my life, and i've been really stressed out. Both myself and people around me have had problems. Legal problems, financial problems, and other problems, lots more than i can possibly deal with. So i don't deal with it. I bottle it all up until one day i might just explode. So i needed to get it out there. It fucking kills me, that i can't do anything about it, or help anyone. One slight problem that had been dragging on for ages that had affected me personally is over, thank god. So thats a bit less stress to worry about. And to those people who knew about it and contacted me, thanks for your concern. But there are still major issues going on right now, that affects everyone around me, and there's nothing i can do :( I stress out very easily, and i'm glad to know there are people out there that can support me.

I must say though these issues have nothing to do with me being gay. That's just another issue that adds to my stress levels and increases my blood pressure. And it's also something i can't deal with right now.

Have a good night,
J