Monday, October 20, 2008

My life undercover Pt.1

So what's my life undercover like? It's a bit hard to answer that question without any background so i think i'll start at the begining. I grew up in a regular orthodox household. Some people would probably call us ultra orthodox. 2 parents, a few siblings, no pets, lol. I did all the stuff nice jewish boys do. I went to a jewish day school, followed by a number of yeshivahs and then to college. Pretty much the whole shebang. I've known i was attracted to guys from around 13 years of age. Of course back then I didn't have much material to satisfy my curiosity. I used to look at shopping catalogues checking out the hot male models and usually before summer there'd be some in a minimal amount of clothing. I jerked off alot too, lol.

At night in bed I used to pray and made a deal with god that if he made me straight, i'd be a better kid and stop doing all the things i 'wasn't' supposed to be doing. But he didn't keep his side of the deal and neither did I. Before the internet was so widespread, i used to call gay chat and story lines with fake credit card numbers and just listen. I used to go to newstands and stores where they sell magazines and I would have a perve. Gay magazines (not the X rated ones ;) ) and workout mags with pics of hot muscled men in them. I remember the first one i actually bought. It was Men's Workout and I hid it in my bedroom and used to look at it all the time.

The internet was a major eye opener for me. was a major hangout, Of course I had to be careful as everything was done on the family computer. I used to go online late at night when everyone was asleep. I closed all the doors so no-one would hear the noises of my old dialup modem. I often went to nifty and just loaded story after story. This would be saved in my history as text files and i would then use Xtree Gold (wow that is so old!) to copy the text files onto blank floppy disks and then delete my internet history. Then I could use a file reader to read the story and no-one would be any wiser.

While my visits to nifty ebb and flow and continue to this day, I graduated to . This is where I had links and access to pictures. Many many pictures. I was addicted.

Wow this isn't going quite where I thought it would, but I think its enough for part 1.